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BARSAT KI WO RAAT - HOTTEST***
Bachpan me Jab bhi joron ki baarish hoti ya jor ki Bijali kadakati thee to main dar ke maare ghar me dubak jaaya karata tha. Par us raat ki baaris ne to mujhe romanch se labalab bhar diya tha. Aaj bhi jab joron ki baaris hoti hai aur bijali kadakati hai mujhe ek sher yaad aa jata hai :
Ai khuda itana na baras ki vo aa na paayen
Aane ke baad itana baras ki vo jaa na paayen
June mahine ke aakhiree din chal rahe the. Nancy (meri patni) garmiyon me apne ghar gai hui thi. Main akela drawing room me khidaki ke paas baitha Sona (mere patni ki bhatiji) ke baare me hi soch raha tha. Pichhale saal uska ek rod accident hua tha aur wo ham sab ko rota bilakhata chhod kar chali gai thi. Sach poocho to pichhale ek dedh saal me koi din aisa nahi beeta hoga ki maine Sona ko yaad nahi kiya ho.
Wo to mera sab kuch jaise loot kar hi le gai thi. Main uski wohi penti aur reshami rumaal haathon me liye baitha uski yaad me aansu baha raha tha. Har aahat par main chonk sa jaata aur lagata ki jaise Sona hi aa gayi hai. Sona kahani mai aaplogo ke liye baad me kabhi likhunga.
Darwaaje par jab bhee koi aahat si hotee hai to lagata hai ki tum aayi ho
Taaron bhari raat me jab koi juganu chamakata hai lagata hai tun aayi ho
Umas bhari garmee me jab purwa ka jhonka aata hai to lagata hai tum aayi ho
Door kaheen amraai me jab bhi koi koyal kookati hai lagata hai ki tum aayi ho
Aaj Sunday ka din tha. Saare din ghar par hi raha. Kal jo baazar se blu filmo ki 4-5 CD laaya tha unko computer me copy kiya tha. Ek do filme dekhi bhi par Sona ki yaad aate hi maine computer band kar diya. Din me garmee itani jyaada ki aag hi baras rahi thi. Raat ke koi 10 baje honge. Achaanak mausam badala aur jor ki aandhi ke saath halaki baaris shuru ho gai. Hawa ke ek thande jhonke ne mujhe jaise sahala sa diya. Achaanak caal bel bajee aur lagbhag darwaaja peetate hue koi bola “Nancy .. jijju darwaaja jaladi kholo Nancy…?” kisi ladaki ki aawaaj thi.
Sona jaisi awaaj sunkar main jaise apne khayaalo se jaaga. Is samay kaun ho sakata hai ? Maine Rumaal aur penti apni jeb me daali aur jaise hee darwaaje ki or badha ek jhatake ke saath darwaaja khula aur koi mujh se jor se takaraya. Shayad chitakani khuli hi rah gai thi darwaaja peetane aur jor lagaane ke kaaran apne aap khul gaya aur hadbadaahat me wo mujhse takara gai. Agar maine use baahon me nahi thaam liya hota to nischit hi neeche gir padati. Is aapa dhaapi me uske kandhe se lataka bag (Lap top waala) neeche gir hi gaya. Wo cheekhati hui mujhse jor se lipat si gai. Uske badan se aati paseene, baaris aur jawaan jism ki khusboo se mera tan man sab saraabor hota chala gaya. Uske chhoti chhoti choochiyan mere seene se sate hue the. Wo roye jaa rahi thai. Main hakka bakka khada rah gaya kuchh samajh hi nahi paaya.
Koi 2-3 minat ke baad mere munh se nikala “kk…kaun.. aare.. Nnnn.. niii. Ekta tu… ??? Kya baat hai … aare kya hua.. tum itani dari hui kyon ho” oh ye to Nancy ki kajin Ekta thi. Kabhi kabhaar apne job ke silsile me yahaan aaya karti thi aur raat ko yahi thahar jaati thi. Pahale maine is chidiya par dhyaan hi nahi diya tha. Aap jarioor soch rahe honge itani mast haseen laundia ki or mera dhyaan pahale kyon nahi gaya. Iske do kaaran the. Ek to wo sardiyon me ek do baar jab aai thi to wo kapado se ladi fadi thi doosare uski aankhon par mota sa chashmaa. Aaj to wo kamaal ki lag rahi thi. Usne contect lense laga liye the. Kandho ke upar tak baal kate hue. Kaano me sone ki patali baaliyaan. Jeen pent me kase chootad aur khule top se jhalakate kandhaari aanar jaisi chhoochiyan to kahar hi dha rahe the. Saali apne aap ko Jhansi ki sherani kahati hai par lagati hai Nanitaal ya Almoda ki pahaadi billi.
“Oh… sorry jijju… Nancy didi kahaan hai ? …didi…didi…” Ekta mujh se pare hatate hue idhar udhar dekhate hue boli
“Oh didi ko chhodo pahale ye bataao tum itani raat gaye baaris me dari hui kya baat hai ??”
“wo.. wo ek kutta…”
“Haan haan kya hua tum theek to ho ?”
Ekta abhi bhi dari hui khadi thi. Uske munh se kuch nahi nikal raha tha. Maine darwaaja band kiya aur uska haath pakad kar sofe par baithaaya fir poochha “Kya baat hui tum ro kyon rahi thi ?”
Jab uski saanse kuch normal hui to wo boli “Darashal saaree musibat aaj hi aani thi. Pahale to presentation me hi der ho gai thi aur fir khaana khane ke chakkar 9 baj gaye. Car bhi aaj hi kaharaab honi thi. Bus stand gai to me Agara ki bas bhi mis ho gai” shaayad in dino uski posting Aagra me thi.
Main itana to jaanata tha ki wo kisi nai medicin banane waali company me kaam karati hai aur marketing ke silsile me kai jagah aati jaati rahati hai par is tarah dare hue rote hue hadbada kar aane ka kaaran mere samajh nahi aaya. Maine sawaaliya nigaahon se use dekha to wo boli
“Actually Maharaaja Hotel me hamaari company ka ek presentation tha. Saare medical reprajentetivas aaye hue the. Hamaare do naye products bhi laanch kiye gaye the. Confrence 9 baje khatam hui aur khaana khane ke chakkar me deri ho gai aur waapas ghar jaane ka saadhan nahi tha. Yahaa aate samay raaste me auto kharaab ho gaya. Is baaris ko bhi aaj hi aana tha. Raaste me aapke ghar ke saamne ek kutta soya tha bekhayaali me mera pair uske upar pad gaya aur wo itani jor se bhonka ki main dar hi gai” Ek saans me Ektaa ne sab bata diya
“Aare kahin kaat to nahi liya ?”
“Nahi kaata to nahi… Didi dikhaai nahi de rahi?”
“Oh.. Nain(mai Nancy ko pyaar se Nain bulata hun) to Gorakhpur gai hui hai pichhale 10 dino se”
“Tabhi unka mobile nahi mil raha tha.”
“To mujhe hi kar liya hota”
“Mere paas aapka nambar nahi tha.”
“Haan bhai aap haamara nambar kyon rakhengi… hum aapke hai kaun ?”
“Aap aisa kyon kahate hain ?”
“Bhai tum to didi ke liye hi aati ho hamen kaun poochhata hai ?”
“Nahi aisi koi baat nahi hai”
“Iska matalab tum mere liye bhi aati ho” main bhala mazaak ka aisa sunahara mauka kaise chhodata. Wo sarama gai. Usne apni nigaahen neechi kar li. Thodi der kuchh sochati rahi fir boli “oh didi to hai nahi main kisi hotal me hi thahar jaati hun ?”
“Kyon yahaan koi dikatt hai ?”
“Wo.. wo.. aap akele hai aur main… mera matalab… didi ko pata chalega to kya sochengi ?”
“Kyon kya sochengi kya tum is se pahele yahaan nahi thahari ?”
“Oh par us samay didi ghar par thi”
“Kya hum itane bure hai ?”
“Oh wo baat nai”
“To fir kya baat hai ?”
“Wo wo.. mera matalab kya ek jawaan ladaki ka is tarah ek gair (paraaye) mard ke saath raat me … akele ?? mera matalab ?? oh kuch samajh nahi aa raha” usne roni si surat banaate hue kaha
“Oh ab main samajha tum mujhe gair samajhati ho ya fir tumhe apane aap par viswaas nahi hai”
“Nahi aisi baat to nahi hai”
“To fir baat ye hai ki main ek hinsak pashu hun ek gunda badmas mavaali hun tum jaisee akeli ladaki ko paakar tumhe khaa hi jaaung ya kuchh ulata seedha kar baithunga? Kyun hai na yahi baat ?”
“Oh jijju aap bhi baat ka batangad bana rahe hai. Main to ye kah rahi thi aapko bekaar pareshaani hogi”
“Aare isame pareshaani waali kya baat hai”
“Fir bhi … mera matalab wo…didi…?” wo kuchh sochate hue si boli
“Aare jab tumhe koi probalam nahi mhjuhe nahi to fir Gorakhpur baithi Nain ko kya problam ho sakati hai. Aur fir aas pados waale kisi ki koi fikar nahi karate hai. Agar apna man saaf hai to fir kisi ka kya dar ? kya main galat kah raha hun ?” Maine kaha. Main itana badhiya mauka aur haath aai murgi ko aise hi hawa me kaise ud jaane deta.
Bachpan me Jab bhi joron ki baarish hoti ya jor ki Bijali kadakati thee to main dar ke maare ghar me dubak jaaya karata tha. Par us raat ki baaris ne to mujhe romanch se labalab bhar diya tha. Aaj bhi jab joron ki baaris hoti hai aur bijali kadakati hai mujhe ek sher yaad aa jata hai :
Ai khuda itana na baras ki vo aa na paayen
Aane ke baad itana baras ki vo jaa na paayen
June mahine ke aakhiree din chal rahe the. Nancy (meri patni) garmiyon me apne ghar gai hui thi. Main akela drawing room me khidaki ke paas baitha Sona (mere patni ki bhatiji) ke baare me hi soch raha tha. Pichhale saal uska ek rod accident hua tha aur wo ham sab ko rota bilakhata chhod kar chali gai thi. Sach poocho to pichhale ek dedh saal me koi din aisa nahi beeta hoga ki maine Sona ko yaad nahi kiya ho.
Wo to mera sab kuch jaise loot kar hi le gai thi. Main uski wohi penti aur reshami rumaal haathon me liye baitha uski yaad me aansu baha raha tha. Har aahat par main chonk sa jaata aur lagata ki jaise Sona hi aa gayi hai. Sona kahani mai aaplogo ke liye baad me kabhi likhunga.
Darwaaje par jab bhee koi aahat si hotee hai to lagata hai ki tum aayi ho
Taaron bhari raat me jab koi juganu chamakata hai lagata hai tun aayi ho
Umas bhari garmee me jab purwa ka jhonka aata hai to lagata hai tum aayi ho
Door kaheen amraai me jab bhi koi koyal kookati hai lagata hai ki tum aayi ho
Aaj Sunday ka din tha. Saare din ghar par hi raha. Kal jo baazar se blu filmo ki 4-5 CD laaya tha unko computer me copy kiya tha. Ek do filme dekhi bhi par Sona ki yaad aate hi maine computer band kar diya. Din me garmee itani jyaada ki aag hi baras rahi thi. Raat ke koi 10 baje honge. Achaanak mausam badala aur jor ki aandhi ke saath halaki baaris shuru ho gai. Hawa ke ek thande jhonke ne mujhe jaise sahala sa diya. Achaanak caal bel bajee aur lagbhag darwaaja peetate hue koi bola “Nancy .. jijju darwaaja jaladi kholo Nancy…?” kisi ladaki ki aawaaj thi.
Sona jaisi awaaj sunkar main jaise apne khayaalo se jaaga. Is samay kaun ho sakata hai ? Maine Rumaal aur penti apni jeb me daali aur jaise hee darwaaje ki or badha ek jhatake ke saath darwaaja khula aur koi mujh se jor se takaraya. Shayad chitakani khuli hi rah gai thi darwaaja peetane aur jor lagaane ke kaaran apne aap khul gaya aur hadbadaahat me wo mujhse takara gai. Agar maine use baahon me nahi thaam liya hota to nischit hi neeche gir padati. Is aapa dhaapi me uske kandhe se lataka bag (Lap top waala) neeche gir hi gaya. Wo cheekhati hui mujhse jor se lipat si gai. Uske badan se aati paseene, baaris aur jawaan jism ki khusboo se mera tan man sab saraabor hota chala gaya. Uske chhoti chhoti choochiyan mere seene se sate hue the. Wo roye jaa rahi thai. Main hakka bakka khada rah gaya kuchh samajh hi nahi paaya.
Koi 2-3 minat ke baad mere munh se nikala “kk…kaun.. aare.. Nnnn.. niii. Ekta tu… ??? Kya baat hai … aare kya hua.. tum itani dari hui kyon ho” oh ye to Nancy ki kajin Ekta thi. Kabhi kabhaar apne job ke silsile me yahaan aaya karti thi aur raat ko yahi thahar jaati thi. Pahale maine is chidiya par dhyaan hi nahi diya tha. Aap jarioor soch rahe honge itani mast haseen laundia ki or mera dhyaan pahale kyon nahi gaya. Iske do kaaran the. Ek to wo sardiyon me ek do baar jab aai thi to wo kapado se ladi fadi thi doosare uski aankhon par mota sa chashmaa. Aaj to wo kamaal ki lag rahi thi. Usne contect lense laga liye the. Kandho ke upar tak baal kate hue. Kaano me sone ki patali baaliyaan. Jeen pent me kase chootad aur khule top se jhalakate kandhaari aanar jaisi chhoochiyan to kahar hi dha rahe the. Saali apne aap ko Jhansi ki sherani kahati hai par lagati hai Nanitaal ya Almoda ki pahaadi billi.
“Oh… sorry jijju… Nancy didi kahaan hai ? …didi…didi…” Ekta mujh se pare hatate hue idhar udhar dekhate hue boli
“Oh didi ko chhodo pahale ye bataao tum itani raat gaye baaris me dari hui kya baat hai ??”
“wo.. wo ek kutta…”
“Haan haan kya hua tum theek to ho ?”
Ekta abhi bhi dari hui khadi thi. Uske munh se kuch nahi nikal raha tha. Maine darwaaja band kiya aur uska haath pakad kar sofe par baithaaya fir poochha “Kya baat hui tum ro kyon rahi thi ?”
Jab uski saanse kuch normal hui to wo boli “Darashal saaree musibat aaj hi aani thi. Pahale to presentation me hi der ho gai thi aur fir khaana khane ke chakkar 9 baj gaye. Car bhi aaj hi kaharaab honi thi. Bus stand gai to me Agara ki bas bhi mis ho gai” shaayad in dino uski posting Aagra me thi.
Main itana to jaanata tha ki wo kisi nai medicin banane waali company me kaam karati hai aur marketing ke silsile me kai jagah aati jaati rahati hai par is tarah dare hue rote hue hadbada kar aane ka kaaran mere samajh nahi aaya. Maine sawaaliya nigaahon se use dekha to wo boli
“Actually Maharaaja Hotel me hamaari company ka ek presentation tha. Saare medical reprajentetivas aaye hue the. Hamaare do naye products bhi laanch kiye gaye the. Confrence 9 baje khatam hui aur khaana khane ke chakkar me deri ho gai aur waapas ghar jaane ka saadhan nahi tha. Yahaa aate samay raaste me auto kharaab ho gaya. Is baaris ko bhi aaj hi aana tha. Raaste me aapke ghar ke saamne ek kutta soya tha bekhayaali me mera pair uske upar pad gaya aur wo itani jor se bhonka ki main dar hi gai” Ek saans me Ektaa ne sab bata diya
“Aare kahin kaat to nahi liya ?”
“Nahi kaata to nahi… Didi dikhaai nahi de rahi?”
“Oh.. Nain(mai Nancy ko pyaar se Nain bulata hun) to Gorakhpur gai hui hai pichhale 10 dino se”
“Tabhi unka mobile nahi mil raha tha.”
“To mujhe hi kar liya hota”
“Mere paas aapka nambar nahi tha.”
“Haan bhai aap haamara nambar kyon rakhengi… hum aapke hai kaun ?”
“Aap aisa kyon kahate hain ?”
“Bhai tum to didi ke liye hi aati ho hamen kaun poochhata hai ?”
“Nahi aisi koi baat nahi hai”
“Iska matalab tum mere liye bhi aati ho” main bhala mazaak ka aisa sunahara mauka kaise chhodata. Wo sarama gai. Usne apni nigaahen neechi kar li. Thodi der kuchh sochati rahi fir boli “oh didi to hai nahi main kisi hotal me hi thahar jaati hun ?”
“Kyon yahaan koi dikatt hai ?”
“Wo.. wo.. aap akele hai aur main… mera matalab… didi ko pata chalega to kya sochengi ?”
“Kyon kya sochengi kya tum is se pahele yahaan nahi thahari ?”
“Oh par us samay didi ghar par thi”
“Kya hum itane bure hai ?”
“Oh wo baat nai”
“To fir kya baat hai ?”
“Wo wo.. mera matalab kya ek jawaan ladaki ka is tarah ek gair (paraaye) mard ke saath raat me … akele ?? mera matalab ?? oh kuch samajh nahi aa raha” usne roni si surat banaate hue kaha
“Oh ab main samajha tum mujhe gair samajhati ho ya fir tumhe apane aap par viswaas nahi hai”
“Nahi aisi baat to nahi hai”
“To fir baat ye hai ki main ek hinsak pashu hun ek gunda badmas mavaali hun tum jaisee akeli ladaki ko paakar tumhe khaa hi jaaung ya kuchh ulata seedha kar baithunga? Kyun hai na yahi baat ?”
“Oh jijju aap bhi baat ka batangad bana rahe hai. Main to ye kah rahi thi aapko bekaar pareshaani hogi”
“Aare isame pareshaani waali kya baat hai”
“Fir bhi … mera matalab wo…didi…?” wo kuchh sochate hue si boli
“Aare jab tumhe koi probalam nahi mhjuhe nahi to fir Gorakhpur baithi Nain ko kya problam ho sakati hai. Aur fir aas pados waale kisi ki koi fikar nahi karate hai. Agar apna man saaf hai to fir kisi ka kya dar ? kya main galat kah raha hun ?” Maine kaha. Main itana badhiya mauka aur haath aai murgi ko aise hi hawa me kaise ud jaane deta.