Update-154
"iski to ye bhi meri tarah bhag kar ghumane gayi thi...aaj kal ke students me sharifi bachi hee nahi hai siway mere... "
.
Humare ghonchu warden ne shuru me hum sabse kaha tha ki samne jo dusare college ka camp hai..unke college ka level bahut gira hua hai aur waha ke students ekdum defaulter hai....baad me mujhe maloom chala ki warden ne hume unse door rahne ke liye aisa kaha tha, taki koyi lafda na ho...lekin ab lagbhag hum sabhi jaan chuke the ki samne jis college ka camp laga hai usme MBBS ke students hai aur mere khayal se kisi ko ye batane ki jaroorat nahi ki MBBS ki value kya hoti hai .
.
"yar Arman ,wo sale MBBS ke students hai..maine socha tha ki jab bhi unse mulaqat hogi to apna collar uncha aur seena chauda karke chalunga...lekin ab to..."
"janeman, ghodo ke jhund me gadho ko shamil karne se ,wo ghoda nahi ban jata aur isase kya fark padta hai ki wo MBBS ke students hai ya 12th fail ke..."maine kaha,jabki main janta tha ki fark to padta hai .
"to aage ka kya plan hai, Arman bhai...main to bolta hoon ki kal phhir nadi ke upar bane pull me jate hai aur laundo ko pelte hai..."
"Tu yaha ,yahi karne aaya hai kya...beta kismat har baar sath nahi deti.yadi koyi couple group me aaya ho to phhir chud jayenge..."
"to filhal abhi kya kare...bhari bore ho raha hoon "
"filhal to world cup nikalo....samay gujar jayega..."
.
'PLATINUM' ke ek bumpher ko raat bhar me maine,Arun aur Rajshri Pandey ne khatm kar diya tha....Sulabh aur Naveen daru peete nahi the aur Saurabh ne kaha ki aaj shaniwar hai isliye wo aaj nahi piyega .
dusare din sabse pahle meri aankh khuli aur aankh khulte hee meri nazar sabse pahle mere hath me bandhi ghadi par gayi aur baad me daru ke us bumpher par,jise kal raat hum teen logo ne khali kiya tha.is waqt 9 baj rahe the aur daru ki botal me kuchh daru ab bhi baki thi....
"sala kal raat ko lagta hai ,in dono ne apna aakhiri peg nahi liya...warna hisab se to aaj botal ko khali hona chahiye tha...."Platinum ki botal ki taraf badhte hue main badbadaya aur botal ko uthakar sochne laga ki iska kya kiya jaye...bahar fek du ya phhir pee loon....
"nahi sala kahi chadh gayi to phhir main sabki dayi chod dunga..."sochate hue maine Platinum ke dhakkan ko khola aur jaise hee bache hue daru ko girane wala tha ,mere man me khayal aaya ki"pee hee leta hoon,itne se mera kya hoga...zameen par girane se to achchha hai ki apne pet me gira loon..."
iske baad maine bina kuchh soche botal me thoda pani dala aur kuchh der botal ko hilane ke baad botal ke muh ko apne muh se lagaya aur khel khatm
Mere sare dost abhi tak kharrate le rahe the,isliye maine waha bikhri hui sari avaidh cheezo jaise ki cigarette ke packet, disposable glass aur world cup ko ek badi si polythene me bharkar camp se bahar nikla .
"idhar to koyi kharab jagah dikh hee nahi rahi...ye sab kachra kaha phheku..."maine socha..aur phhir khayal aaya ki chup chap jakar dusare college ke jo camp hai ,waha rakh deta hoon ,isase to hum log door-door tak nahi fasenge aur maine aisa hee kiya...main chup-chap dusare college ke camp ke paas gaya aur polythene waha chhodkar wapas aa gaya.
.
Subah ke 10 baje sabhi students bahar jama hue. Hum sab neeche khade the aur humara warden ek bade se patthar ke upar white kit pahle khada tha.
"sab log yaha se neeche jayenge aur pull ki taraf na jakar right side me jayenge...right side me hum logo ke liye bahut sari activities hai, jaise ki rappelling ,fishing....jisko jo karna hai wo...wo karega aur sham ke 4 baje tak wapas yaha aana hai."Patthar se neeche kudkar warden ne aage kaha"aur khabardar jo koyi yaha se neeche jane ke baad pull ki taraf ya coffee house ki taraf gaya to....yadi maine kisi ko aisa karte hue pakad liya to aaj raat ka khana usi se banwaunga...understand..."
.
"ye sala humara warden ,khud ko samajhta kya hai...BC humlog koyi bachche hai kya jo har waqt ye batata rahta hai ki ye mat karo,wo mat karo....Arman tu dekhna yadi mera dimag kharab hua na to sale ko isi nadi me dubo-dubo kar mar dunga..."pahadi se neeche utarte waqt Arun ne kaha....
maine Arun ko koyi jawab nahi diya,kyunki is samay mera pura dhyan pahadi se neeche utarne me tha...mere aisa karne ki vajah ye thi ki subah jo maine do peg mare the,uska halka-halka asar hone laga tha aur mujhe ye dar tha ki yadi maine yaha bakchodi ki to pahle seedhe neeche aur phhir seedhe upar pahuchunga.....
"tu itna shant kyun hai be..."neeche utarte waqt Arun ne mujhe peechhe se dhakka diya.
"bakchod hai kya...jo dhakka de raha hai, yadi gir jata to..."
"tu londiya hai kya ,jo itni se mamuli jhatke ko nahi sah payega..."
"dekh ,tu abhi shanti se mujhe neeche utarne de...ek to waise bhi sar gol-gol ghoom raha hai aur upar se tu aur teri bakwas..."
.
"to batao ,kya plan hai right chale ya left...." jab hum log neeche aa gaye to Saurabh bola"mera khayal hai ki left chalte hai...right me babaji ka ghanta bas milega lekin left me is shahar ki kudiya dekhegi..."
"par warden ka kya..."
"warden ,chodu hai sala...kuchh bhi bolte rahta hai..."
"meri tabiyat kuchh thik nahi hai ,right chalte hai..."maine kaha.
"kya hua.."
"kuchh nahi, "
"to phhir left chalte hai na..."
"right me jugad hai...left me kuchh nahi hai"
"tujhe kaise pata..."
"ab lawda ,tum log ko har ek chiz batau kya...chalna hai to chalo warna..."jhallate hue main bola.
"control yar, tu itna bhadak kyun raha hai...chal left side hee chalte hai."Arun ne mujhe beech me tok kar kaha aur hum log left side badhe....
.
"sala daru phhir reaction kar gayi, zameen par gira deta to achchha rahta..."chalte hue main badbadaya"aadha ek ghanta ,jaldi se beet jaye to main hosh me aaun..."
.
Right side chalte rahne ke baad humne dekha ki nadi ke kinare-kinare bahut hee badhiya jagah waha thi, jaha fishing ,rappelling karne ka intezaam kiya gaya tha.
"ye sale machhali mar, ab ye hum logo se machhali ki hatya karwayenge..."
"chutiyapa band kar...machhali pakadne ke baad use wapas pani me chhod bhi dena hai..."bolte hue main ruka aur kinare me rakhe ek patthar ke upar thodi der ke liye baith gaya....
"thodi der ruko yahi...phhir aage chalte hai..."
"tu pakka kisi ka muh me lekar aaya hai...kal raat tak to thik tha,ab aaj tujhe ye achanak kya ho gaya..."
"kuchh nahi ,pyas lag rahi hai..."
"sorry, mujhe is waqt peshab nahi lagi hai...warna tujhe namak wala garam pani pilata..."
"kyun dimag chat raha hai be..."daant chabate hue maine Arun se kaha.
iske baad kuchh der tak wo sab wahi khade rahe aur main patthar par baithkar na jaane kya-kya sochane laga....tabhi mujhe khayal aaya ki mere sath is camp me Esha bhi aayi hai, mujhe kuchh plan banane chahiye jisase ki hum dono ek-dusare ke karib aa sake.
Aisi situation me yadi mujhe Esha dikh jati to kasam se sara mood sahi ho jata lekin mujhe Esha nahi balki Angelina dikhi,wo bhi samne se aati hui....kal raat jis tarah se usne mujhe ullu banaya tha uske baad to main uske baare me sochkar hee nervous hone laga tha aur main chahta tha ki wo chup chap mere bagal se nikal jaye. Kyunki is waqt main apne full form me nahi tha .Lekin hua iska thik ulta.
"o..Mr. Manager...kya haal hai..."
Angelina ka mujhe is tarah se bolne par jaha ek taraf main chauka wahi dusari taraf mere dost mujhse jyada chauke, aur sale mujhe dekhkar aise muskurane lage jaise ki Angelina meri maal ho.....
"kya hua, aaj kuchh nahi bolna kya..."Angelina ne aage kaha aur uski kal wali dono saheliya hasne lagi.
man to mera nahi kar raha tha ki main Angelina ke paas jakar usase baat karu, lekin ek ghamand ki lahar aayi aur dosto ke beech apni baadshahat kayam rakhne ke liye main utha....
"tumhe pahchana nahi...apna introduction dogi kya...wo kya hai ki mai raah chalte sabko yaad nahi rakhta"Angelina ki taraf badhte hue maine kaha...
"pahle apne pant ki zib to band kar lo ,Manager...phhir mera intro lena..."haste hue wo boli.
mere pant ki zib khuli hai ,ye sunkar mera ek hath turant neeche gaya lekin baad me pata chala ki Angelina ne is baar bhi mujhe ullu bana diya hai kyunki mera zib pahle se hee band tha.
"hosh me raha karo Engineer babu ,warna jaha kaam karoge,waha ka kabada kar doge..."ek phhir uski hansi gunji aur wo apne dono saheliyo chinki ,pinki ke sath mera majak udate hue aage badh gayi...
.
Angelina ke aise bartaav par mere sabhi dosto ka muh 3 inch fat gaya tha.unhe yakin nahi ho raha tha ki koyi mujhe chuna laga gaya....
"kya be, ye londiya to tujhe chod ke chali gayi...sale laundo ka naam badnam kar diya tune,aaj ke baad baat mat karna mujhse..."
"wo to meri tabiyat kharab thi...warna tu to janta hee hai mujhe...tension mat le, agli baar jab milegi to main sut-samet uski lunga..."apni kharab tabiyat ka excuse dete hue maine man me socha"Silva, tu abki baar mil mujhe...tab main tujhe dikhata hoon ki Arman kya aafat hai"
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"iski to ye bhi meri tarah bhag kar ghumane gayi thi...aaj kal ke students me sharifi bachi hee nahi hai siway mere... "
.
Humare ghonchu warden ne shuru me hum sabse kaha tha ki samne jo dusare college ka camp hai..unke college ka level bahut gira hua hai aur waha ke students ekdum defaulter hai....baad me mujhe maloom chala ki warden ne hume unse door rahne ke liye aisa kaha tha, taki koyi lafda na ho...lekin ab lagbhag hum sabhi jaan chuke the ki samne jis college ka camp laga hai usme MBBS ke students hai aur mere khayal se kisi ko ye batane ki jaroorat nahi ki MBBS ki value kya hoti hai .
.
"yar Arman ,wo sale MBBS ke students hai..maine socha tha ki jab bhi unse mulaqat hogi to apna collar uncha aur seena chauda karke chalunga...lekin ab to..."
"janeman, ghodo ke jhund me gadho ko shamil karne se ,wo ghoda nahi ban jata aur isase kya fark padta hai ki wo MBBS ke students hai ya 12th fail ke..."maine kaha,jabki main janta tha ki fark to padta hai .
"to aage ka kya plan hai, Arman bhai...main to bolta hoon ki kal phhir nadi ke upar bane pull me jate hai aur laundo ko pelte hai..."
"Tu yaha ,yahi karne aaya hai kya...beta kismat har baar sath nahi deti.yadi koyi couple group me aaya ho to phhir chud jayenge..."
"to filhal abhi kya kare...bhari bore ho raha hoon "
"filhal to world cup nikalo....samay gujar jayega..."
.
'PLATINUM' ke ek bumpher ko raat bhar me maine,Arun aur Rajshri Pandey ne khatm kar diya tha....Sulabh aur Naveen daru peete nahi the aur Saurabh ne kaha ki aaj shaniwar hai isliye wo aaj nahi piyega .
dusare din sabse pahle meri aankh khuli aur aankh khulte hee meri nazar sabse pahle mere hath me bandhi ghadi par gayi aur baad me daru ke us bumpher par,jise kal raat hum teen logo ne khali kiya tha.is waqt 9 baj rahe the aur daru ki botal me kuchh daru ab bhi baki thi....
"sala kal raat ko lagta hai ,in dono ne apna aakhiri peg nahi liya...warna hisab se to aaj botal ko khali hona chahiye tha...."Platinum ki botal ki taraf badhte hue main badbadaya aur botal ko uthakar sochne laga ki iska kya kiya jaye...bahar fek du ya phhir pee loon....
"nahi sala kahi chadh gayi to phhir main sabki dayi chod dunga..."sochate hue maine Platinum ke dhakkan ko khola aur jaise hee bache hue daru ko girane wala tha ,mere man me khayal aaya ki"pee hee leta hoon,itne se mera kya hoga...zameen par girane se to achchha hai ki apne pet me gira loon..."
iske baad maine bina kuchh soche botal me thoda pani dala aur kuchh der botal ko hilane ke baad botal ke muh ko apne muh se lagaya aur khel khatm
Mere sare dost abhi tak kharrate le rahe the,isliye maine waha bikhri hui sari avaidh cheezo jaise ki cigarette ke packet, disposable glass aur world cup ko ek badi si polythene me bharkar camp se bahar nikla .
"idhar to koyi kharab jagah dikh hee nahi rahi...ye sab kachra kaha phheku..."maine socha..aur phhir khayal aaya ki chup chap jakar dusare college ke jo camp hai ,waha rakh deta hoon ,isase to hum log door-door tak nahi fasenge aur maine aisa hee kiya...main chup-chap dusare college ke camp ke paas gaya aur polythene waha chhodkar wapas aa gaya.
.
Subah ke 10 baje sabhi students bahar jama hue. Hum sab neeche khade the aur humara warden ek bade se patthar ke upar white kit pahle khada tha.
"sab log yaha se neeche jayenge aur pull ki taraf na jakar right side me jayenge...right side me hum logo ke liye bahut sari activities hai, jaise ki rappelling ,fishing....jisko jo karna hai wo...wo karega aur sham ke 4 baje tak wapas yaha aana hai."Patthar se neeche kudkar warden ne aage kaha"aur khabardar jo koyi yaha se neeche jane ke baad pull ki taraf ya coffee house ki taraf gaya to....yadi maine kisi ko aisa karte hue pakad liya to aaj raat ka khana usi se banwaunga...understand..."
.
"ye sala humara warden ,khud ko samajhta kya hai...BC humlog koyi bachche hai kya jo har waqt ye batata rahta hai ki ye mat karo,wo mat karo....Arman tu dekhna yadi mera dimag kharab hua na to sale ko isi nadi me dubo-dubo kar mar dunga..."pahadi se neeche utarte waqt Arun ne kaha....
maine Arun ko koyi jawab nahi diya,kyunki is samay mera pura dhyan pahadi se neeche utarne me tha...mere aisa karne ki vajah ye thi ki subah jo maine do peg mare the,uska halka-halka asar hone laga tha aur mujhe ye dar tha ki yadi maine yaha bakchodi ki to pahle seedhe neeche aur phhir seedhe upar pahuchunga.....
"tu itna shant kyun hai be..."neeche utarte waqt Arun ne mujhe peechhe se dhakka diya.
"bakchod hai kya...jo dhakka de raha hai, yadi gir jata to..."
"tu londiya hai kya ,jo itni se mamuli jhatke ko nahi sah payega..."
"dekh ,tu abhi shanti se mujhe neeche utarne de...ek to waise bhi sar gol-gol ghoom raha hai aur upar se tu aur teri bakwas..."
.
"to batao ,kya plan hai right chale ya left...." jab hum log neeche aa gaye to Saurabh bola"mera khayal hai ki left chalte hai...right me babaji ka ghanta bas milega lekin left me is shahar ki kudiya dekhegi..."
"par warden ka kya..."
"warden ,chodu hai sala...kuchh bhi bolte rahta hai..."
"meri tabiyat kuchh thik nahi hai ,right chalte hai..."maine kaha.
"kya hua.."
"kuchh nahi, "
"to phhir left chalte hai na..."
"right me jugad hai...left me kuchh nahi hai"
"tujhe kaise pata..."
"ab lawda ,tum log ko har ek chiz batau kya...chalna hai to chalo warna..."jhallate hue main bola.
"control yar, tu itna bhadak kyun raha hai...chal left side hee chalte hai."Arun ne mujhe beech me tok kar kaha aur hum log left side badhe....
.
"sala daru phhir reaction kar gayi, zameen par gira deta to achchha rahta..."chalte hue main badbadaya"aadha ek ghanta ,jaldi se beet jaye to main hosh me aaun..."
.
Right side chalte rahne ke baad humne dekha ki nadi ke kinare-kinare bahut hee badhiya jagah waha thi, jaha fishing ,rappelling karne ka intezaam kiya gaya tha.
"ye sale machhali mar, ab ye hum logo se machhali ki hatya karwayenge..."
"chutiyapa band kar...machhali pakadne ke baad use wapas pani me chhod bhi dena hai..."bolte hue main ruka aur kinare me rakhe ek patthar ke upar thodi der ke liye baith gaya....
"thodi der ruko yahi...phhir aage chalte hai..."
"tu pakka kisi ka muh me lekar aaya hai...kal raat tak to thik tha,ab aaj tujhe ye achanak kya ho gaya..."
"kuchh nahi ,pyas lag rahi hai..."
"sorry, mujhe is waqt peshab nahi lagi hai...warna tujhe namak wala garam pani pilata..."
"kyun dimag chat raha hai be..."daant chabate hue maine Arun se kaha.
iske baad kuchh der tak wo sab wahi khade rahe aur main patthar par baithkar na jaane kya-kya sochane laga....tabhi mujhe khayal aaya ki mere sath is camp me Esha bhi aayi hai, mujhe kuchh plan banane chahiye jisase ki hum dono ek-dusare ke karib aa sake.
Aisi situation me yadi mujhe Esha dikh jati to kasam se sara mood sahi ho jata lekin mujhe Esha nahi balki Angelina dikhi,wo bhi samne se aati hui....kal raat jis tarah se usne mujhe ullu banaya tha uske baad to main uske baare me sochkar hee nervous hone laga tha aur main chahta tha ki wo chup chap mere bagal se nikal jaye. Kyunki is waqt main apne full form me nahi tha .Lekin hua iska thik ulta.
"o..Mr. Manager...kya haal hai..."
Angelina ka mujhe is tarah se bolne par jaha ek taraf main chauka wahi dusari taraf mere dost mujhse jyada chauke, aur sale mujhe dekhkar aise muskurane lage jaise ki Angelina meri maal ho.....
"kya hua, aaj kuchh nahi bolna kya..."Angelina ne aage kaha aur uski kal wali dono saheliya hasne lagi.
man to mera nahi kar raha tha ki main Angelina ke paas jakar usase baat karu, lekin ek ghamand ki lahar aayi aur dosto ke beech apni baadshahat kayam rakhne ke liye main utha....
"tumhe pahchana nahi...apna introduction dogi kya...wo kya hai ki mai raah chalte sabko yaad nahi rakhta"Angelina ki taraf badhte hue maine kaha...
"pahle apne pant ki zib to band kar lo ,Manager...phhir mera intro lena..."haste hue wo boli.
mere pant ki zib khuli hai ,ye sunkar mera ek hath turant neeche gaya lekin baad me pata chala ki Angelina ne is baar bhi mujhe ullu bana diya hai kyunki mera zib pahle se hee band tha.
"hosh me raha karo Engineer babu ,warna jaha kaam karoge,waha ka kabada kar doge..."ek phhir uski hansi gunji aur wo apne dono saheliyo chinki ,pinki ke sath mera majak udate hue aage badh gayi...
.
Angelina ke aise bartaav par mere sabhi dosto ka muh 3 inch fat gaya tha.unhe yakin nahi ho raha tha ki koyi mujhe chuna laga gaya....
"kya be, ye londiya to tujhe chod ke chali gayi...sale laundo ka naam badnam kar diya tune,aaj ke baad baat mat karna mujhse..."
"wo to meri tabiyat kharab thi...warna tu to janta hee hai mujhe...tension mat le, agli baar jab milegi to main sut-samet uski lunga..."apni kharab tabiyat ka excuse dete hue maine man me socha"Silva, tu abki baar mil mujhe...tab main tujhe dikhata hoon ki Arman kya aafat hai"
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