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Chapter 6
Manav: Anu, can I talk to you for a minute?
Anu looks up from her laptop and frowns: Ji? Any problems with the numbers that I sent you?
Manav: No. It’s not about that. I just..come to my cabin once please. I want to know about something. (Anu nods and quickly saves and locks her computer before making way to Manav’s cabin. I accept that I was a bad girl, a bad daughter and a bad friend. But does that make me a bad wife too by default? The words and those tears were haunting him since the previous night. So much so that for the first time after marriage, he had actively avoided her by sleeping in the guestroom and leaving for his work when she was in the shower. Something happened. Something happened that robbed her of her zeal and had her thinking that she is a “bad girl, bad daughter”. He has to know and Anu is the best person. The one who knew everything including her friend) Baito. Want to have some coffee or tea?
Anu: No thank you. Kya baat hain jeejaji? Nisha..Nisha teek hain na? Phirse usse migraine hua hain kya? (Worry enters her voice and on her face.)
Manav: Migraines..I will get to that later. But first tell me this Anu. What happened to Nisha? Why is she like this?
Anu gives him a suspicious look: Like this? Like this matlab?
Manav sighs: Come on Anu..this is not the same Nisha that I knew before. I accept that people change and grow up and all that but to this extent? No. Tell me please. I want to know.
Anu gets a defensive look on her face..as if daring him to say one word against her friend and she would probably fry him alive: Why? Why do you want to know? So that you can rub it on her face some more? So that you can insult her some more?
Manav: No! I just..I just want to know
Anu still looks at him suspiciously: Then you have to promise me that you won’t get this topic in front of her EVER.. And try to punish her some more for some juvenile thing that she did a decade ago!
Manav raises his eyebrow: Fine. I promise. (A slight pause and then) Juvenile? You call that juvenile? Did you even see those snaps? Do you know how it feels that I have..(He looks away) she was 15. 15 dammit! What if I had..
Anu cuts in: And have you never thought that if she HADN’T done what she did, you would probably be still behind bars? That police would have arrested you for Aditi’s murder based on circumstantial evidence? (His stunned silence is answer enough for her that the thought never crossed his mind) Bad or ugly, fact is if she hadn’t done it that night, you would have been accused of murder. Even if you wouldn’t have been sentenced due to lack of evidence, the suspicion would still have hovered over you. Everyone would have pointed fingers at you and your family. Nisha’s act saved you jeejaji. You would have realized it sooner if you had stopped thinking about yourself for a second and thought about her. (Once she has started, Anu’s words start flowing as if she has suppressed them all this while and they are bursting out now without a break) I was there with her that night, you know? I was there with both of you in that hotel room. Who do you think clicked those pictures? I did. And the next day I was the one who told her about Aditi’s death and police taking you in for questioning. She didn’t hesitate for a second once she realized you were being blamed. I told her..(She swallows and grips her pen tighter) I told her if you didn’t do it, the lawyers and stuff would find a way to bring you out. But she said no. “I will get Manav back home before the day is out.” That’s what she said. I got scared. I thought what if my dad comes to know about it. She said she won’t bring out my name. “Zidd meri thi toh consequences bhi mein hi face karoongi.” Aur woh apne papa ke paas photos leke chaligayi. She was ready to face anything and everything to get you out..to make sure your name is completely free and clear of all suspicion. (Anu looks at him angrily and wipes her eyes roughly with the back of her hand) Aur Yog uncle ko bhi pata tha ki agar yeh baat baahar nikalgayi toh unki badnaami hogi. Phir bhi unhoone yeh baat chupaane ki koshish nahi ki. He came and showed the pictures and told everything that happened to the police. Unpe uss waqt kya guzri hogi yeh toh wohi jaane but you HAVE to accept what he did was not a small thing. Beti hain unki jeejaji..
Manav gets up and goes to the window. He stuffs his hands into his trouser pockets as his eyes stare out. But in his mind’s eye, he sees his chulbuli..walking towards her father..scared but determined to save her Tiger. He clears his throat before: Phir?
Anu: This is not some Mumbai jeejaji. 10 years back, it was still relatively small city. News about what she did got leaked. They could not get hold of the pictures but “only daughter of a famous industrialist who was a teenager..father’s partner’s daughter got killed..” These sentences were pretty obvious for everyone. A local newspaper ran the story for a few days. Parents started warning their kids about being friends with “someone like her”..her friends started making snide and sometimes open comments about her..boys started..started..(Her trembling voice stops. She takes a deep breath before continuing) She was 15 years old jeejaji..aur woh sharaarati zaroor thi lekin aisi nahi..woh toh sirf..(She stops herself once again) She didn’t know how to handle all that. She used to be scared all the time. Uncle and aunty couldn’t go anywhere socially without someone bringing out that topic. Nandini aunty started blaming herself as a mother for not bringing up her daughter well. She was..is a good mom. She took care of Nisha and me too like her own daughter. But it was too unexpected and too much for her to take. She didn’t talk to Nisha for a long time.
Manav locks his jaw: Migraines..was..was that when..these..migraines of hers started?
Anu nods: Yeah. Initially, she didn’t even tell anyone that she was not well. She just used to shut herself in her room and bear the pain. Then one day Rohan got it out of her and told aunty. That’s when aunty finally broke her silence and took her to the doctor. She used to have them too frequently so she was put on constant medication. That used to make her drowsy. HK used to make special light diet for her to eat and she spent a lot of time in the kitchen sitting while he cooked and made some general small talk. I think it relaxed her. And that’s when she realized that she can’t go on like that. She fought it, went on runs and cycling to reduce her stress, controlled her diet and her emotions. She is stronger now because the wall she built around herself is stronger now.
Manav: How did she manage to study with all this?
Anu: It was not easy but since she gave her parents so much pain, she was determined to redeem herself and make them proud. Rohan and I kept her company during her nightouts and she finally cleared the med entrance. She got a seat here in Ahmedabad too but she wanted to get away. Mathur uncle also thought it was a good idea.
Manav turns at that: Dad..dad spoke to Nisha?
Anu nods: Ji. Not often like before but..she never went back to your house though. Nor could she meet your mom’s eyes.
Manav closes his eyes as waves of pain, regret and guilt wash over him. I had been undergoing a crisis of my own..with Aditi and Armaan’s betrayal and my whole life and dreams crashed at my feet..then Nisha’s act..I never thought of what she would have gone through. And I should have. I knew her better than anyone. And that what she did was probably more impulsive than some kind of preplanned premeditated act of teenage rebellion. But I didn’t. I never once gave a thought to her and left her literally to face the wolves on her own. And the wolves made a mincemeat out of her and tore her to pieces. He huffs out a sad painful laugh. What wolves? I myself had turned into a monster ever since I returned and saw her. All I had seen was a beautiful sexy woman with a cold expressionless face and had set out to see if she was as cold on the inside as she was on the outside. I didn’t even give her the dignity as a person with feelings when I took her to bed time and again..every morning..every night. She had become a kind of a drug that I got addicted to and had to have her no matter what. It stopped being revenge after the first time..now it’s just that.. Addiction.. And I never stopped to think.. (He cringes as shame overwhelms him.) I never realized that she was probably hiding all her pain and fear behind that facade.
Anu waits for him to speak but after a while she clears her throat: Is that all?
Manav turns but doesn’t meet her eyes: Why did she come back? Wouldn’t she have been better off staying away..working somewhere else?
Anu: Nandini aunty was missing her and recently her health took a bad turn. She had to undergo hysterectomy. So Nisha came back. (Her face reddens again) When she applied in CGH, the management took a few days to decide whether to hire her or not..she is the same girl who did that right? Can we hire her? Kahi hospital ka reputation kharaab na hojaay. Even now it’s like everyone is waiting for her to make a mistake..(She turns her face away in disgust and gets up) Mein jaau?
Manav nods and swallows: Thank you Anu.
An hour or so later, there is a knock on Yograj’s cabin. He looks up from his desktop with a frown before the frown dissolves a small smile replaces it: Hello Manav. Come in come in. Sit. Meri abhi abhi Shyam se baat hui and he was telling me that everything is set for the interviews. (Manav takes the seat and just looks at Yog..his father in law. For the first time he doesn’t know what to say or how to say it) Kya hua Manav? Any problem?
Manav looks at his stapled fingers before meeting Yog’s eyes: Uncle..Anu told me what happened after I left all those years ago.
Yog looks at him blankly before sighing and removing his glasses. He takes a sip of water from the glass beside him: Kissi ne sach hi kahaa hain Manav. Hum bachche toh paida karsakte hain lekin unki kismat nahi. Nandini ne aur mein ne hameshaa Nisha ko achchi parvarish dene ki koshish ki. She was pampered..correct but we always made sure she knew the difference between right and wrong. Acceptable and not acceptable. And she got it right for the most part. She never crossed the line before that night. We knew about her crush but when Nandini said, I waved it away saying teenage hain..she will be fine after a while. We always think we know everything there is to know about our children but they still somehow manage to surprise us.
Manav: People talked. That would have hurt you and aunty a lot..(Yog’s silence is answer enough) I never knew any of this. Mom and dad never told me..(Manav sighs and rubs a hand over his face) No..thats not true. Whenever dad got the topic about anyone involved here, I used to get up and walk away. Mom finally said that its not good to be so judgemental and left it at that.
Yog: Anyone in your situation would probably have reacted in the same way Manav.
Manav leans back in the chair and closes his eyes: Is that why you wanted a grand wedding? To negate the gossip?
Yog nods after a pause: Yeah..lekin ab inn sab baaton ka kya faayda. Jaane do Manav. People will anyway come to know soon enough and once things settle down, they will accept and keep quiet. Chale? We are supposed to hold a marketing heads meet right? (Manav nods and both of them leave for the meeting. But throughout the rest of the day he remains distracted and even a little down.)
That night:
Manav walks into the bedroom and hears the sound of the shower running from the bathroom. With a tired sigh he plops down on the bed and falls back into a reclining position with feet still touching the floor and covers his eyes with a bended arm. The sound of the shower stops and a few moments later the sound of the door opening is heard. He still doesn’t move from his position or open his eyes. He feels her coming and standing near the bed looking at him without trying to talk. The thought that she is probably afraid of starting a conversation or worse that she is probably waiting for him to pounce on her like a rutting bull is like an arrow piercing his insides. Finally in a soft almost tentative voice, she asks: Tired?
Manav swallows and gets up from the bed before snagging the towel from the hanger..all without looking at her: Yeah..I will just have a shower and we can eat. Tum neeche jaao mein aata hoon. (Saying that he closes the bathroom door)
Nisha quickly changes into her usual nightdress and brushes her hair mechanically. Is he really tired? Or is he still angry? The same thought keeps running in her mind as she goes down to help HK set the table and heat up the food. Just as she begins to serve, Manav comes down. HK goes into the kitchen: Mein jaake garma garam roti laata hoon. Aap dono khaane keliye baitjao bitiya.
Nisha: Ji kaka.
Again that night, dinner becomes a silent affair with Manav drowning in guilt and shame and Nisha waiting for him to break the silence. Midway through, he gets up abruptly from the half eaten plate and walks off towards the study room: I have some work to do. Tum jaake sojaao. Goodnight. (And closes the study door before leaning against it and closing his eyes. what do I do? How do I talk to her? WHAT do I talk to her? How do I begin to undo the damage that I have done? WHERE do I begin? I can’t even meet her eyes anymore! )
Next day morning: (Sunday)
Nisha wakes up later than her usual time with the realisation that Manav didn’t come to the bed the previous night. She quickly freshens up and goes downstairs to find him already having his first coffee and reading the business section of the newspaper. He looks up: Good morning.
Nisha: Good morning. (HK comes with her tea cup) Thank you kaka. Aap kehrahe the kuch groceries laane hain?
HK nods: Jaldi nahi hain bitiya. Aaj Sunday hain na..thoda aaraam karo. I got the vegetables yesterday. So it’s just the groceries. Kabhibhi jaasakte hain.
Nisha: Teek hain. Breakfast ke baad chalte hain.
Manav puts the cup down and gets up: Mein saath chaloo?
Nisha and HK both look at him in obvious surprise: Ji?
Manav looks at Nisha with unusual hesitancy: Can I come with you? For the shopping? I am kind of tired after working the whole week and need a break. (Then he shrugs) We can do shopping and then may be..have lunch outside..? (The last bit comes out like a question.)
Nisha blinks and swallows before nodding. If he hadn’t been paying such close attention to her, he would have missed the brief glimpse of surprised joy followed by a kind of resigned sadness. It’s gone before he could completely register it leaving her face once again solemn. She probably thinks I still suspect her and trying to keep tabs on her. The light in his eyes dims a little at that thought but he turns towards HK: Kaka aap aaraam keejiye. We will do the shopping and have lunch outside and be home by evening.
HK gives him a genuine smile for the first time: Teek hain. mein abhi list banaata hoon.
Both of them get ready, have their breakfast and leave in Manav’s car: Kahaa jaana hain?
Nisha wets her lips: Woh..there is a super market a few streets away. We can go there.
Manav nods and with Nisha giving him the address, soon parks the car in front of the super market. They meet a couple with a small boy on their way into the store. The lady stops when she looks at Nisha: Hello Doctor.
Nisha also stops and nods with a small smile: Hello Mrs Tandon. How are you?
Mrs Tandon grins: Chalraha hain. Weekend shopping?
Nisha: Yeah. (Just then the boy pulls his mother’s arm down and whispers something in her ear) How are you doing Sachin? (Sachin, the 7 year old boy smiles shyly.)
Mrs Tandon gives Manav a quick look before continuing: We went to Mumbai recently and Sachin got an autograph from Sachin Tendulkar. He wants me to tell you that.
Nisha smiles and shakes the kid’s hand: Congratulations Sachin. You told him that you were his fan? (Sachin nods. Nisha observes Mrs Tandon giving Manav another look) Mrs Tandon, this is my husband Manav. (She turns to Manav) Manav, Mr and Mrs Bhardwaj Tandon and their son Sachin. (Manav nods politely at the lady and shakes the husband’s hand.)
Bhardwaj looks at Manav interestingly: Are you also a doctor?
Manav smiles a little: No. I work at VM. I am one of the partners there.
With another polite nod and farewell, they walk away.
Manav: Kya sochrahi ho?
Nisha shakes her head and silently pulls out a shopping cart and goes inside the store. It felt good. It felt so so good. How many times did I dream about something like this happening! That I would go out with Tiger and proudly introduce him as my husband! Who knew that one day that childish fantasy of mine would come true! Shopping takes up more time than expected with the Sunday morning rush at the store but finally all the stuff in stoved in the trunk and Manav closes it with a thunk: Toh ab?
Nisha: Ji?
Manav: Hungry? Want to go for lunch or drive around for a while before going to eat?
Nisha looks at him with wide blinking eyes as if trying to decide if he really wants to know her opinion in this or not. Finally she shrugs almost indifferently: Aap ki marzi. I am ok with anything.
Manav sighs then rethinks: Ok. Let’s do one thing. Let’s have an early lunch and go for a movie. What say? (This time the surprise and look of delight is more open in her eyes but her nod is as solemn as ever. He realizes that if he has to know what she is thinking, he has to pay real close attention to her face..at least until she lets her guard down around him. He tilts his head a little to the side once indicating “toh chalo!” and quickly goes around to open the car door for her. He makes sure she is settled in completely before closing the door and going to the driver’s side and starting the car.)
Manav: The other day I took one of the investors to Barbeque Nation. Achcha hain. Wahaa chalte hain. Which movie do you want to see? It’s been ages since I went to one. Mumbai mein most of the time I was too busy and when I had free time, I just used to get something home and watch it. Theater ko gaye ek arsa hogaya.
Nisha: My last movie was Bol Bachchan. I went with Anu on her birthday.
Manav: Hmmm..I heard it looks a little like Golmaal.
Her lips stretch into a tiny smile: I liked Ajay Devgan in this one.
Manav: Ok lunch ke baad we will go to INOX..and whatever movie is running there we will see. Ok? (Nisha nods and starts looking out of the window. Soon they reach the restaurant and take the lift to the third floor. Once inside, Manav chooses a two seater table towards a corner and pulls up a chair for her to sit. After giving a quick look at him, she sits. Her fingers tremble slightly in suppressed excitement.)
After seating himself in the opposite chair, Manav: You like it?
Startled once again, Nisha looks up at Manav. After a hasty swallow of a little water, she replies: It..its good. I like it. How is your work coming along?
Manav shrugs and browses through the menu without looking at her: The usual. You had some emergency that night. How is the kid now?
Nisha: He is better. Much better. There was some infection due to the burst appendix but we could control it with antibiotics.
Manav: You do surgeries too or just treat the children?
Try as she might, she is unable to stop the glow that takes over her face: I don’t do surgeries. I monitor the child while the surgeon does the surgery. We need to do super speciality, MCH, to do surgeries. Performing surgery on a kid is more delicate and tough than an adult na..especially babies..sometimes..(Realizing that she is blabbering, she suddenly shuts her mouth. How easy it is to fall into old habits..to forget the 10 years and talk to him like she always used to! He probably just asked for the sake of appearences..or whatever and here I am, falling all over myself like an idiot! )
After a slight pause, Manav: So you like this being a children’s doctor. (It’s a statement but at the same time asking for her confirmation.)
Nisha nods with a small smile: Yes. I like it very much.
Manav: And you want to do these surgeries too?
Nisha starts fiddling with the napkin: Yes but I need to do a specialization for that.
Manav: You did both your MBBS and your..PG..(He waves his hand in a vague gesture because he doesn’t know the correct medical term.)
Nisha: MD
Manav nods: MD..so you did your MBBS and MD from which college?
Nisha: Calcutta Medical College.
Manav’s lips stretch into a smile. The waiter comes in and Manav looks at Nisha with his eyebrow raised: You want to order or try the buffet?
Nisha: Order..I think.
After deciding on the starters and the main course, they place the order and the waiter leaves with a slight bow. Manav continues the conversation from where he left off: You learnt Bengali while you were there?
Again a tiny smile: Thoda. Most of my classmates knew Hindi and I anyway didn’t..Mumbai..Mumbai mein aap ka job..you liked it?
His pause while eating indicates that he caught the deliberate change of topic but just lets it be: Yeah..the company was huge but I kind of liked the challenge. What about you? You liked the college and the teaching?
Nisha: It was good for the most part. I never could enjoy pathology but the rest of the subjects were good.
Manav grins: You need to explain that. What is pathology?
Nisha: Blood tests and things like that. I mean..if someone has say..malaria, we do a particular blood test. Usse pata chalta hain ki usko uss tarah ki bimaari hain ki nahi.
Manav: Aahh..ok. So this pathology was the toughest subject. What’s your favourite?
The waiter gets the food along with the fruit sizzlers and after that brief interruption, the conversation once again picks up. He keeps the topics mostly pertaining to her college days, professors and their teachings and hostel life. Slowly as the lunch progresses, Nisha begins to relax and really enjoy the conversation..her only thought being that may be he has decided to forgive and let the past go..or is he testing me and just waiting to dig more arrows? Lunch gets wrapped up and Manav pays the bill: HK told me aunty called once or twice to talk to you.
Nisha nods and once again tenses up: Ji. She just..just wanted to say hi.
Manav nods: She must be missing you. Maybe you should go over to your place more often..whenever you are free.. Maybe when you finish your hospital work soon or something like that. Tumko bhi achcha lagega. (He glances at his watch) Chale? Nahi toh we will miss the starting of the movie.
Manav: Anu, can I talk to you for a minute?
Anu looks up from her laptop and frowns: Ji? Any problems with the numbers that I sent you?
Manav: No. It’s not about that. I just..come to my cabin once please. I want to know about something. (Anu nods and quickly saves and locks her computer before making way to Manav’s cabin. I accept that I was a bad girl, a bad daughter and a bad friend. But does that make me a bad wife too by default? The words and those tears were haunting him since the previous night. So much so that for the first time after marriage, he had actively avoided her by sleeping in the guestroom and leaving for his work when she was in the shower. Something happened. Something happened that robbed her of her zeal and had her thinking that she is a “bad girl, bad daughter”. He has to know and Anu is the best person. The one who knew everything including her friend) Baito. Want to have some coffee or tea?
Anu: No thank you. Kya baat hain jeejaji? Nisha..Nisha teek hain na? Phirse usse migraine hua hain kya? (Worry enters her voice and on her face.)
Manav: Migraines..I will get to that later. But first tell me this Anu. What happened to Nisha? Why is she like this?
Anu gives him a suspicious look: Like this? Like this matlab?
Manav sighs: Come on Anu..this is not the same Nisha that I knew before. I accept that people change and grow up and all that but to this extent? No. Tell me please. I want to know.
Anu gets a defensive look on her face..as if daring him to say one word against her friend and she would probably fry him alive: Why? Why do you want to know? So that you can rub it on her face some more? So that you can insult her some more?
Manav: No! I just..I just want to know
Anu still looks at him suspiciously: Then you have to promise me that you won’t get this topic in front of her EVER.. And try to punish her some more for some juvenile thing that she did a decade ago!
Manav raises his eyebrow: Fine. I promise. (A slight pause and then) Juvenile? You call that juvenile? Did you even see those snaps? Do you know how it feels that I have..(He looks away) she was 15. 15 dammit! What if I had..
Anu cuts in: And have you never thought that if she HADN’T done what she did, you would probably be still behind bars? That police would have arrested you for Aditi’s murder based on circumstantial evidence? (His stunned silence is answer enough for her that the thought never crossed his mind) Bad or ugly, fact is if she hadn’t done it that night, you would have been accused of murder. Even if you wouldn’t have been sentenced due to lack of evidence, the suspicion would still have hovered over you. Everyone would have pointed fingers at you and your family. Nisha’s act saved you jeejaji. You would have realized it sooner if you had stopped thinking about yourself for a second and thought about her. (Once she has started, Anu’s words start flowing as if she has suppressed them all this while and they are bursting out now without a break) I was there with her that night, you know? I was there with both of you in that hotel room. Who do you think clicked those pictures? I did. And the next day I was the one who told her about Aditi’s death and police taking you in for questioning. She didn’t hesitate for a second once she realized you were being blamed. I told her..(She swallows and grips her pen tighter) I told her if you didn’t do it, the lawyers and stuff would find a way to bring you out. But she said no. “I will get Manav back home before the day is out.” That’s what she said. I got scared. I thought what if my dad comes to know about it. She said she won’t bring out my name. “Zidd meri thi toh consequences bhi mein hi face karoongi.” Aur woh apne papa ke paas photos leke chaligayi. She was ready to face anything and everything to get you out..to make sure your name is completely free and clear of all suspicion. (Anu looks at him angrily and wipes her eyes roughly with the back of her hand) Aur Yog uncle ko bhi pata tha ki agar yeh baat baahar nikalgayi toh unki badnaami hogi. Phir bhi unhoone yeh baat chupaane ki koshish nahi ki. He came and showed the pictures and told everything that happened to the police. Unpe uss waqt kya guzri hogi yeh toh wohi jaane but you HAVE to accept what he did was not a small thing. Beti hain unki jeejaji..
Manav gets up and goes to the window. He stuffs his hands into his trouser pockets as his eyes stare out. But in his mind’s eye, he sees his chulbuli..walking towards her father..scared but determined to save her Tiger. He clears his throat before: Phir?
Anu: This is not some Mumbai jeejaji. 10 years back, it was still relatively small city. News about what she did got leaked. They could not get hold of the pictures but “only daughter of a famous industrialist who was a teenager..father’s partner’s daughter got killed..” These sentences were pretty obvious for everyone. A local newspaper ran the story for a few days. Parents started warning their kids about being friends with “someone like her”..her friends started making snide and sometimes open comments about her..boys started..started..(Her trembling voice stops. She takes a deep breath before continuing) She was 15 years old jeejaji..aur woh sharaarati zaroor thi lekin aisi nahi..woh toh sirf..(She stops herself once again) She didn’t know how to handle all that. She used to be scared all the time. Uncle and aunty couldn’t go anywhere socially without someone bringing out that topic. Nandini aunty started blaming herself as a mother for not bringing up her daughter well. She was..is a good mom. She took care of Nisha and me too like her own daughter. But it was too unexpected and too much for her to take. She didn’t talk to Nisha for a long time.
Manav locks his jaw: Migraines..was..was that when..these..migraines of hers started?
Anu nods: Yeah. Initially, she didn’t even tell anyone that she was not well. She just used to shut herself in her room and bear the pain. Then one day Rohan got it out of her and told aunty. That’s when aunty finally broke her silence and took her to the doctor. She used to have them too frequently so she was put on constant medication. That used to make her drowsy. HK used to make special light diet for her to eat and she spent a lot of time in the kitchen sitting while he cooked and made some general small talk. I think it relaxed her. And that’s when she realized that she can’t go on like that. She fought it, went on runs and cycling to reduce her stress, controlled her diet and her emotions. She is stronger now because the wall she built around herself is stronger now.
Manav: How did she manage to study with all this?
Anu: It was not easy but since she gave her parents so much pain, she was determined to redeem herself and make them proud. Rohan and I kept her company during her nightouts and she finally cleared the med entrance. She got a seat here in Ahmedabad too but she wanted to get away. Mathur uncle also thought it was a good idea.
Manav turns at that: Dad..dad spoke to Nisha?
Anu nods: Ji. Not often like before but..she never went back to your house though. Nor could she meet your mom’s eyes.
Manav closes his eyes as waves of pain, regret and guilt wash over him. I had been undergoing a crisis of my own..with Aditi and Armaan’s betrayal and my whole life and dreams crashed at my feet..then Nisha’s act..I never thought of what she would have gone through. And I should have. I knew her better than anyone. And that what she did was probably more impulsive than some kind of preplanned premeditated act of teenage rebellion. But I didn’t. I never once gave a thought to her and left her literally to face the wolves on her own. And the wolves made a mincemeat out of her and tore her to pieces. He huffs out a sad painful laugh. What wolves? I myself had turned into a monster ever since I returned and saw her. All I had seen was a beautiful sexy woman with a cold expressionless face and had set out to see if she was as cold on the inside as she was on the outside. I didn’t even give her the dignity as a person with feelings when I took her to bed time and again..every morning..every night. She had become a kind of a drug that I got addicted to and had to have her no matter what. It stopped being revenge after the first time..now it’s just that.. Addiction.. And I never stopped to think.. (He cringes as shame overwhelms him.) I never realized that she was probably hiding all her pain and fear behind that facade.
Anu waits for him to speak but after a while she clears her throat: Is that all?
Manav turns but doesn’t meet her eyes: Why did she come back? Wouldn’t she have been better off staying away..working somewhere else?
Anu: Nandini aunty was missing her and recently her health took a bad turn. She had to undergo hysterectomy. So Nisha came back. (Her face reddens again) When she applied in CGH, the management took a few days to decide whether to hire her or not..she is the same girl who did that right? Can we hire her? Kahi hospital ka reputation kharaab na hojaay. Even now it’s like everyone is waiting for her to make a mistake..(She turns her face away in disgust and gets up) Mein jaau?
Manav nods and swallows: Thank you Anu.
An hour or so later, there is a knock on Yograj’s cabin. He looks up from his desktop with a frown before the frown dissolves a small smile replaces it: Hello Manav. Come in come in. Sit. Meri abhi abhi Shyam se baat hui and he was telling me that everything is set for the interviews. (Manav takes the seat and just looks at Yog..his father in law. For the first time he doesn’t know what to say or how to say it) Kya hua Manav? Any problem?
Manav looks at his stapled fingers before meeting Yog’s eyes: Uncle..Anu told me what happened after I left all those years ago.
Yog looks at him blankly before sighing and removing his glasses. He takes a sip of water from the glass beside him: Kissi ne sach hi kahaa hain Manav. Hum bachche toh paida karsakte hain lekin unki kismat nahi. Nandini ne aur mein ne hameshaa Nisha ko achchi parvarish dene ki koshish ki. She was pampered..correct but we always made sure she knew the difference between right and wrong. Acceptable and not acceptable. And she got it right for the most part. She never crossed the line before that night. We knew about her crush but when Nandini said, I waved it away saying teenage hain..she will be fine after a while. We always think we know everything there is to know about our children but they still somehow manage to surprise us.
Manav: People talked. That would have hurt you and aunty a lot..(Yog’s silence is answer enough) I never knew any of this. Mom and dad never told me..(Manav sighs and rubs a hand over his face) No..thats not true. Whenever dad got the topic about anyone involved here, I used to get up and walk away. Mom finally said that its not good to be so judgemental and left it at that.
Yog: Anyone in your situation would probably have reacted in the same way Manav.
Manav leans back in the chair and closes his eyes: Is that why you wanted a grand wedding? To negate the gossip?
Yog nods after a pause: Yeah..lekin ab inn sab baaton ka kya faayda. Jaane do Manav. People will anyway come to know soon enough and once things settle down, they will accept and keep quiet. Chale? We are supposed to hold a marketing heads meet right? (Manav nods and both of them leave for the meeting. But throughout the rest of the day he remains distracted and even a little down.)
That night:
Manav walks into the bedroom and hears the sound of the shower running from the bathroom. With a tired sigh he plops down on the bed and falls back into a reclining position with feet still touching the floor and covers his eyes with a bended arm. The sound of the shower stops and a few moments later the sound of the door opening is heard. He still doesn’t move from his position or open his eyes. He feels her coming and standing near the bed looking at him without trying to talk. The thought that she is probably afraid of starting a conversation or worse that she is probably waiting for him to pounce on her like a rutting bull is like an arrow piercing his insides. Finally in a soft almost tentative voice, she asks: Tired?
Manav swallows and gets up from the bed before snagging the towel from the hanger..all without looking at her: Yeah..I will just have a shower and we can eat. Tum neeche jaao mein aata hoon. (Saying that he closes the bathroom door)
Nisha quickly changes into her usual nightdress and brushes her hair mechanically. Is he really tired? Or is he still angry? The same thought keeps running in her mind as she goes down to help HK set the table and heat up the food. Just as she begins to serve, Manav comes down. HK goes into the kitchen: Mein jaake garma garam roti laata hoon. Aap dono khaane keliye baitjao bitiya.
Nisha: Ji kaka.
Again that night, dinner becomes a silent affair with Manav drowning in guilt and shame and Nisha waiting for him to break the silence. Midway through, he gets up abruptly from the half eaten plate and walks off towards the study room: I have some work to do. Tum jaake sojaao. Goodnight. (And closes the study door before leaning against it and closing his eyes. what do I do? How do I talk to her? WHAT do I talk to her? How do I begin to undo the damage that I have done? WHERE do I begin? I can’t even meet her eyes anymore! )
Next day morning: (Sunday)
Nisha wakes up later than her usual time with the realisation that Manav didn’t come to the bed the previous night. She quickly freshens up and goes downstairs to find him already having his first coffee and reading the business section of the newspaper. He looks up: Good morning.
Nisha: Good morning. (HK comes with her tea cup) Thank you kaka. Aap kehrahe the kuch groceries laane hain?
HK nods: Jaldi nahi hain bitiya. Aaj Sunday hain na..thoda aaraam karo. I got the vegetables yesterday. So it’s just the groceries. Kabhibhi jaasakte hain.
Nisha: Teek hain. Breakfast ke baad chalte hain.
Manav puts the cup down and gets up: Mein saath chaloo?
Nisha and HK both look at him in obvious surprise: Ji?
Manav looks at Nisha with unusual hesitancy: Can I come with you? For the shopping? I am kind of tired after working the whole week and need a break. (Then he shrugs) We can do shopping and then may be..have lunch outside..? (The last bit comes out like a question.)
Nisha blinks and swallows before nodding. If he hadn’t been paying such close attention to her, he would have missed the brief glimpse of surprised joy followed by a kind of resigned sadness. It’s gone before he could completely register it leaving her face once again solemn. She probably thinks I still suspect her and trying to keep tabs on her. The light in his eyes dims a little at that thought but he turns towards HK: Kaka aap aaraam keejiye. We will do the shopping and have lunch outside and be home by evening.
HK gives him a genuine smile for the first time: Teek hain. mein abhi list banaata hoon.
Both of them get ready, have their breakfast and leave in Manav’s car: Kahaa jaana hain?
Nisha wets her lips: Woh..there is a super market a few streets away. We can go there.
Manav nods and with Nisha giving him the address, soon parks the car in front of the super market. They meet a couple with a small boy on their way into the store. The lady stops when she looks at Nisha: Hello Doctor.
Nisha also stops and nods with a small smile: Hello Mrs Tandon. How are you?
Mrs Tandon grins: Chalraha hain. Weekend shopping?
Nisha: Yeah. (Just then the boy pulls his mother’s arm down and whispers something in her ear) How are you doing Sachin? (Sachin, the 7 year old boy smiles shyly.)
Mrs Tandon gives Manav a quick look before continuing: We went to Mumbai recently and Sachin got an autograph from Sachin Tendulkar. He wants me to tell you that.
Nisha smiles and shakes the kid’s hand: Congratulations Sachin. You told him that you were his fan? (Sachin nods. Nisha observes Mrs Tandon giving Manav another look) Mrs Tandon, this is my husband Manav. (She turns to Manav) Manav, Mr and Mrs Bhardwaj Tandon and their son Sachin. (Manav nods politely at the lady and shakes the husband’s hand.)
Bhardwaj looks at Manav interestingly: Are you also a doctor?
Manav smiles a little: No. I work at VM. I am one of the partners there.
With another polite nod and farewell, they walk away.
Manav: Kya sochrahi ho?
Nisha shakes her head and silently pulls out a shopping cart and goes inside the store. It felt good. It felt so so good. How many times did I dream about something like this happening! That I would go out with Tiger and proudly introduce him as my husband! Who knew that one day that childish fantasy of mine would come true! Shopping takes up more time than expected with the Sunday morning rush at the store but finally all the stuff in stoved in the trunk and Manav closes it with a thunk: Toh ab?
Nisha: Ji?
Manav: Hungry? Want to go for lunch or drive around for a while before going to eat?
Nisha looks at him with wide blinking eyes as if trying to decide if he really wants to know her opinion in this or not. Finally she shrugs almost indifferently: Aap ki marzi. I am ok with anything.
Manav sighs then rethinks: Ok. Let’s do one thing. Let’s have an early lunch and go for a movie. What say? (This time the surprise and look of delight is more open in her eyes but her nod is as solemn as ever. He realizes that if he has to know what she is thinking, he has to pay real close attention to her face..at least until she lets her guard down around him. He tilts his head a little to the side once indicating “toh chalo!” and quickly goes around to open the car door for her. He makes sure she is settled in completely before closing the door and going to the driver’s side and starting the car.)
Manav: The other day I took one of the investors to Barbeque Nation. Achcha hain. Wahaa chalte hain. Which movie do you want to see? It’s been ages since I went to one. Mumbai mein most of the time I was too busy and when I had free time, I just used to get something home and watch it. Theater ko gaye ek arsa hogaya.
Nisha: My last movie was Bol Bachchan. I went with Anu on her birthday.
Manav: Hmmm..I heard it looks a little like Golmaal.
Her lips stretch into a tiny smile: I liked Ajay Devgan in this one.
Manav: Ok lunch ke baad we will go to INOX..and whatever movie is running there we will see. Ok? (Nisha nods and starts looking out of the window. Soon they reach the restaurant and take the lift to the third floor. Once inside, Manav chooses a two seater table towards a corner and pulls up a chair for her to sit. After giving a quick look at him, she sits. Her fingers tremble slightly in suppressed excitement.)
After seating himself in the opposite chair, Manav: You like it?
Startled once again, Nisha looks up at Manav. After a hasty swallow of a little water, she replies: It..its good. I like it. How is your work coming along?
Manav shrugs and browses through the menu without looking at her: The usual. You had some emergency that night. How is the kid now?
Nisha: He is better. Much better. There was some infection due to the burst appendix but we could control it with antibiotics.
Manav: You do surgeries too or just treat the children?
Try as she might, she is unable to stop the glow that takes over her face: I don’t do surgeries. I monitor the child while the surgeon does the surgery. We need to do super speciality, MCH, to do surgeries. Performing surgery on a kid is more delicate and tough than an adult na..especially babies..sometimes..(Realizing that she is blabbering, she suddenly shuts her mouth. How easy it is to fall into old habits..to forget the 10 years and talk to him like she always used to! He probably just asked for the sake of appearences..or whatever and here I am, falling all over myself like an idiot! )
After a slight pause, Manav: So you like this being a children’s doctor. (It’s a statement but at the same time asking for her confirmation.)
Nisha nods with a small smile: Yes. I like it very much.
Manav: And you want to do these surgeries too?
Nisha starts fiddling with the napkin: Yes but I need to do a specialization for that.
Manav: You did both your MBBS and your..PG..(He waves his hand in a vague gesture because he doesn’t know the correct medical term.)
Nisha: MD
Manav nods: MD..so you did your MBBS and MD from which college?
Nisha: Calcutta Medical College.
Manav’s lips stretch into a smile. The waiter comes in and Manav looks at Nisha with his eyebrow raised: You want to order or try the buffet?
Nisha: Order..I think.
After deciding on the starters and the main course, they place the order and the waiter leaves with a slight bow. Manav continues the conversation from where he left off: You learnt Bengali while you were there?
Again a tiny smile: Thoda. Most of my classmates knew Hindi and I anyway didn’t..Mumbai..Mumbai mein aap ka job..you liked it?
His pause while eating indicates that he caught the deliberate change of topic but just lets it be: Yeah..the company was huge but I kind of liked the challenge. What about you? You liked the college and the teaching?
Nisha: It was good for the most part. I never could enjoy pathology but the rest of the subjects were good.
Manav grins: You need to explain that. What is pathology?
Nisha: Blood tests and things like that. I mean..if someone has say..malaria, we do a particular blood test. Usse pata chalta hain ki usko uss tarah ki bimaari hain ki nahi.
Manav: Aahh..ok. So this pathology was the toughest subject. What’s your favourite?
The waiter gets the food along with the fruit sizzlers and after that brief interruption, the conversation once again picks up. He keeps the topics mostly pertaining to her college days, professors and their teachings and hostel life. Slowly as the lunch progresses, Nisha begins to relax and really enjoy the conversation..her only thought being that may be he has decided to forgive and let the past go..or is he testing me and just waiting to dig more arrows? Lunch gets wrapped up and Manav pays the bill: HK told me aunty called once or twice to talk to you.
Nisha nods and once again tenses up: Ji. She just..just wanted to say hi.
Manav nods: She must be missing you. Maybe you should go over to your place more often..whenever you are free.. Maybe when you finish your hospital work soon or something like that. Tumko bhi achcha lagega. (He glances at his watch) Chale? Nahi toh we will miss the starting of the movie.