Amit aur Pooja ghar aajate hain aur tabhi saamne sofe pe baithi Sumitra Devi unke aur dekhne lagti hain.
Sumitra : are kahaan reh gaye the tum log???
Amit ka dil zor zor se dhadakne laga. Voh aalam tha jo aksar choron ka hota hai jab voh ek chori karke ghar laut ke ata ho.
Pooja ki bhi kuch aisi hi dasha thi. Voh baar baar chor nazron se daadi ki taraf hi dekh rahi thi. "Aaactually...dddaaadi..bhayiaa latee aagaye the lleennne kkke liye mujhe!".
Amit jaa hi raha tha ke tabhi Sumita rok leti hai. "Dekhko Amit...Pooja to phir bhi bacchi hain...par tum ab apne zindagi ke agle parav par jaane wale ho...Nalini aur uske pet me pal rahe bacche ka zimma tumpe hain!... Khayal rahe is baat ka."
Sumitra ki sakt awaaz se sabhi vaakif the. Amit sar hilake upar chala gaya aur Pooja wahi khadi hoke mann hi mann sochne lagi "sirf bhabhi ki nahi..nahi..daadi....is zimma me to ab mera bhi shamil hone wali hain!". Aisi bhavnayen apne daadi ke saamne khadi soch soch ke hi uski jism pasine se chuur chuur ho rahi thi.
Vaha kaamre me :
Nalini Amit ko andar aata hua dekhke apni pet pe haath lagati hai "hmmmm zara dekho to aapke daddy aise aa rahe hain jaise bank me chori karte huye pakde gaye ho." (hans leti hain)
Amit mazak ke mood me bilkul nahi tha...par uske mann me phir se vohi sapnewali aurat ki Hansi phut padi ...
Hahhaaahaa...mmm
...aur ek baar phir se Amit ke andar vaasna jaag utha, ab Pooja ke saath kiye gaye sambhog ka uspe koi pachtava nahi tha. Aise me usne Nalini ke saath dene ki thaan li, usi ki andaaz me.
Amit : (kapde kholke hanger pe rakhta hua) Hmmmmmm (Sirf underwear aur banyan me Nalini ke saamne let jaata hain aur uski pet par haath phirane laga) ..ale ale..zara pucho to mummy se...(Pet ke kareeb mooh laata hua) ke voh saara din kya kya karti hain humare bina!
Nalini : (Amit ke sar par maarti hui) chiiiiii!!! Main jawab nahi doongi!! Gande! ( Hans leti hain)
Amit : areee bataoo na... Munna Ko!
Nalini hairat se Amit ke taraf dekhti hain : kya munna?? Bhala tumhe kaise pata ke munna hi hoga??????
Amit ek shaitani muskurahat ke saath ab aur nazdeek sarak gaya aur ek baal bhare pair ko Nalini ki komal pair se nightie ko upar sarkane laga. "Are meri jaaneman!! .... Jitna dahi tumhare matke me transfer hua hai! Us matke me se to pakka ladka hi niklegaa meri jaaaan!!
Nalini apni pati ke bhasha sunke kamuk hone lagi..."chiiiiii gande insaan.... Yeh kaise kaise boli bol rahe ho... Dekho... Kuch hone laga hai mujhe (badi kamuk ada ke saath)
Amit ab saree ki gaanth ko loose karke unwrap kar leta hain. Nalini is harkat se sihar jaati hai aur uska haath rok leti hain "aai jeee...kkya kar rahe ho??..dekho Munna yehi hai.... " (Badi natkhat hone lagi achanak)
Amit : Are jaanu .... kaho to matke me phir ek baar dahi daal doo Kiya???
Nalini : eeshhhhh..gande aadmi....ek ghee ki mithai to pehle se hi matke me hain... use to pesh karne do pehle. (Thodi khilkhila ke) sharam aani chahiye tumhe! Apni garbvati biwi ko is tarah uksana acchi baat nahi ji!
Amit ab petticoat ke upar se apne nange pair ghisne laga. Nalini pagal ho rahi thi dheere dheere. Lambi lambi saasen le rahi thi voh. Amit ab petticoat ke nade ko loose karke pet ke ird gird chumne laga.
Amit chumta gaya aur voh sisakti gayi. Kuch hi der me dono thak ke so jaate hain. Dono anjaan the ke dono adhnangan avastha me ek ashlil pose me hi so gaye.
Vaha dusre taraf..
Choron ki tarah kamre me se nikal padti hain Himani...is baat se anjaan ke use stalk kar rahi thi Gayatri apni saree ko shawl se dhakke uski peeche peeche jaane lagi.
"Himu Besharam! Aaj to tujhe bahut sakht punishment doongi! bhool mat ja ke main ek headmasterni hoon school me!" sochti hui, dil ki dhadkan ko thaame huye voh Himani ki peeche peeche sukhe patte ke bhanti jaane lagi .
Na koi shor......na koi awaaz....
Waha full confidence me Bhim ne apna darwaza khula rakha tha..ke tabhi aajati hain saamne ek bahut mehngi saree pehni hui thi.
Waha chaukhat pe full confidence me Bhim ne apna darwaza khula rakha tha..ke tabhi aajati hain saamne ek bahut mehngi saree pehni hui aur heels me matakti hui Himani!
Voh apni sudol gaand ko jaan bujh ke matak matak ke Bhim ke kareeb jaane lagi. Uske aisi sasti harkat dekhke Gayatri hairan thi, uski aankhein badi badi ho gayee aur mooh khul gayee.
Bhim turant Himani ko apne khudre haathon se jakad leta hain aur khaas dabav uski mast moti gaand pe thopne lagta hain jisse voh sisak uthi ssssssssss..
Bhim (gaand ko saree ke upar se dabochta hua) : Uffffff kya gaaand payeee hain tune!!!! Ufff mere pyare malkinnnnjiii!!!! Uffff!
Gayatri ki dil uski ghutne pe jaisi gir gayee ho. Mooh khuli ki khuli.
Himani is harkat se sisak uthi..."ufffff kamine insaaan kahin ke!!!!!! Tujhe to arrest karna chahiye!....lockup me chaar paaach chabuk lagani chahiye!!!!! (Kamuk awaaz me) Besharam!
Bhim apne aukat me aake aur zor se saree lipte gaand ko daboch leta hain aur seedha ek chumban uski gardan me daalke apne honton ko kaan tak lake "Saaali!!!! Ghar me bhi aisi gaand ko matkake chalti hain ke ....kaun kahega tu do jawan ladkiyo ki maa hai!!!!!! are aisi gaand ko to main kaccha khaa jaoooooo!!!!!!
Yeh sunke quarter ke bahaar khadi Gayatri ki moti moti jaanghe apas me jud jaati hain aur aaj kaafi arso baad uski bur pharpharai....
Phir....
Ek katra boond dono honton ke beech me se ubal ayi aur jaango pe chipak gayi.
Jaise koi bahut purana haveli ki main gate ki taala dagmagane lagi....voh taala aaj khul chuka tha ...neeche gir ke tut chuka.
Vaisi dasha thi Gayatri ki bur ki....voh hairan thi ke is umar me bhi voh kamottejna me jal bhi sakti hain. Voh apni stithi yakeen hi nahi kar paa rahi thi ke saamne se gehre chumbano aur siskiyon ki awazen uski kaan tak aane lagi.
Thodi aur jhadiyo ki nazdeek aane ke baad Gayatri ne gaur kiya ke dono apne kaamvasna me magan the. Dono kaatil nigahon se ek dusre ko dekhte dekhte raas leela kar rahe the ke tabhi Bhim voh karta hain jo Gayatri ne kalpana bhi nahi ki hogi.
Bhim apna langot utaar ke phenk deta hain aur jabaan honton pe phirake apne chote se kacche me ubhar ko tatolne laga. Yeh dekh Himani bhi khatiye pe nagin ke bhanti balkhane lagi.
Gayatri yeh kamuk drishya dekhke thodi si aur ras nichor leti hain jaangho ke beech. Use kuch bhi yakeen nahi ho rahi thi. Pura duniya yaha ka vaha ho chuki thi.
Saamne jo dikhai de Raha tha abhishwasjanak thi lekin is situation ka asar to bharpur ho rahi thi Gayatri pe. Himani ko dekhke use aaj voh ehsaasen jaagti hui mehsoos ki jo kahin salon se gum thi.
Voh Alok ke saath bitaye huye sambhog ke pal...
Voh Alok ka aana achanak se aur uski jism ko dabochna....
Par yaha to mamla alag thi... Himani ke saath jo tha voh Dayanand nahi baalki ghar ka ek neeche darje ka naukar Bhim tha.
Kya Bhim itna pakka mard hai?
Yeh soch me khoye thi ke achabak quarter me se "Uuurghhhhhh ufffffffff Bhim!!!!!!! Thok mujhe ....thok saale.... Thok!!! varna naukri se nikal doongi.......Bloody low class!!!!!
Himani siskiyon ki pauchar barsa rahi thi Bhim pe aur Bhim na jaane kaun se janam ka badla le raha tha ke bahut uttejit hoke thokne laga use. Jaise koi tuti cheez ki jee jaan se marammat kar raha ho.
Dono ek bahut hi gabdet chaadar ke andar apne apne jism hila rahe they..... Gayatri ko yakeen thi ke dono bilkul nange they andar se.
Bhim : (lund ko andar bahaar pelta hua) saali!!!! Phir angrezii bolti hain.....tujhe to main maataji (Sumitra) ke saamne nangi karke dauraunga!!!!
Himani ko uske saste gande baaton se maza aati thi....na jaane kyon. Voh bhi Bhim ka bharpur saath dene lagi.
Himani : (apni manicured nakhun Bhim ke peeth par ragadti hui) uiiiii maaaa na baba na... aisa mat karna...kahin unhe dohra na par jaye!
Bhim (zor zor se badan ko badan se ragadta hua) : Are teri maa ki........(ruk jaata hain) ..are saali.... Tu mujhe jaanti nahin!!! Randikhano pe me mashur hoon!!! Jaake puch!!! Bhim kya aafat hain!
Himani (Har hamle ka mazaa leti hui) : Are voh sasti randiya hongi... main nahi itni asaan lubhane ke liye! ....are main Sumitra Devi ki beti hoon!!!!
Gayatri bechari ghutne tak aake aaram karne lagi...uski bur me aisi khujli hone lagi ke maano ek mungiyon ki fauj andar hulchul kar rahe ho.
Voh chupke se dono ke sambhog ko dekhne lagi ke tabhi...
"Are jaaaanee do naaa....aai paaas aaaooo naa!" ki ringtone chalne lagti hain.
"Ayeee Bhagwan!!!!" Gayatri ka chehra safed par gayi aur voh dheere se vaha se khisak leti hain.
Is ringtone ka aghaaz Himani aur Bhim ko ho chuke the aur Gayatri is baat se anjaan thi.
Samay badalne ke aghaaz pe tha. Us raat ka vasna ab aage aage kya gul khilayega yeh to vaqt hi batayega.
Agle subah...
Amit aur Nalini usi adhnangan avastha me yuhi lete huye the. Is kamuk drishya ko agar koi bhala insaan dekhe to ya to voh kamuk ho jaye ya to phir bawla ho jaye. Par yeh mia biwi ko zara bhi parva nahi thi is baat ki.
Vaha apni kamre me Gayatri abhi bhi so rahi thi. Yeh dekhke Alok khud hairan tha. Usne phir socha ke maharaniji ko kuch alag dhang se jagaya jaye. Alok apne patni ke gudaj stretchmark wale pet pe chumabano ka barsat karne lage. Gudaj sudol si pet hamesha se Gayatri ki kamzori thi.
Aaj bahut dino baad Alok use usi nazuk jagah par cherh raha tha...janta ta tha ke is ka jawab use zaroor milega.
Aur..
Asar hone Laga!
Gayatri sisakne lagi. Dheeme dheemi awaazen nikaalne lagi. Pairo ko apas me ragadne lagi. Yeh dekhke Alok ne ek ajeeb tarkeeb ko anjam diya. Usne pani ke bottle ko dheere se uski chaudi nabhi tak laata hua...haule haule se tinke pe tinke daalne laga, tab tak jab tak uski chaudi se nabhi me ek choti si talab ho chuki ho.
Yeh dekh Alok bechain hone laga. Uska lund pajame ke andar se hi pharpharane laga. Voh ek buzurg tha... Lekin! is vaqt voh apbe andar ke jaanwar ko barava dene laga. Aksar kamukta ke madat se insano ke andar ke jaanwari roop bahaar prakash hota hain aur abhi Gayatri ki kamre me yahi sab ho raha tha.
Alok apne patni ke upar let gaya aur jee bhar ke yaha vaha - vaha yaha chumne laga...mano jaise janmo ka pyas bujha raha ho. Chumne aur chaatne ke bauchaar ne Gayatri se ek "ssssssssss" nikalti hui uski neend bhi uda diya. Voh ekdum se Alok ko side me dhakelti hui uth gayi harbarake.
Alok ( Mastane roop me) : Are patnishree! Aap ko dekhke to sanyasiyan bhi grahast ho jaye aur to aur saare gali ke launde bhi peeche peeche aajaye!!! To hum kya hai!
Gayatri (Sharma ke) : chiiii besharam! Aap dada baane wale hain...are ab to sudhar jayiye ji!!!!
Alok (akadte huye) ; Are to kya hua! Umar se kamukta ka kya taluk? ....are asi kasi kasi mote mote chuche hilaogi blouse me to mujhe darr hain ke ....(ruk jaata hain)
Gayatri bechain ho uthi. "Hain ke..kya????".
Alok (kaan ke lau ko chumta hua) :ke kahin Amit ka tumpe nazar bahek na jaye!!
Yeh sunke Gayatri zor se ras ka dher apni petticoat ke andar chor deti hain.... Aise bheegi jaanghen leke bistar par pati ke saamne bethe hui use sharam aane lagi. Ek choti frock pehni hui bacchi ki tarah masoom chehra banayi hui neeche dekhne lagi.
Ab aise gande shabd sunke subah ka shurvat bhala vo kaise karegi!.
"Kamine insaan kahin ke.... jee to karta hain ke ek ghusa maroon inke musal par!!". Gayatri apni soch pe hairan thi par haste haste bathroom chali gayi.
Alok bhi apne kaam pe lag gaya.
Vaha dusre aur....
Sumitra ghar ke vartaman mahol se kuch pareshan si thi. "Yeh kya ho chala hain mere baccho me?" yeh yeh soch soch ke vo pareshaan ho rahi thi. Voh soch hi rahi thi ke saamne aate hain Gayatri aur peeche peeche Himani.
Hairat yeh thi ke in dono ke utne se pehle hi teeno ladkiyan apni apni college ko nikal chuke the. Kuch sharmnayak chehre liye huye yeh dono aurten Sumitra ke saamne neeche nazren karke khade rahe.
Sumitra : (tez awaaz me) yeh sab kya ho raha hai Bahu???? Himu??? Kya chal raha hai ghar mein?
Himani un aurton me thi jo mauka milne par bus ke bheed me hi apni nabhi ko massle. Bhim ne uske andar besharmiyan ki pudiya thos diya tha bahut pehle hi.
Himani (double meaning me) Are maa! Ab raat me macchar bar gaye to main kya karoon! .... Aap zara samjhiye agar khatmal aur macchar katenge to....raat ko hi katenge.. hain na??
Gayatri yeh jawab se hairan thi. Kuch na boli. Apni mann me "Kamini kahin ki".
Sumitra koi bewakoof nahin thi. Aakhir Himani aur Alok uski kok se nikle the... to zahir tha ke kamukta unme bhi hari bhari hi thi. Aaj kaafi arse ke baad voh natkhat hona chahti thi.
Yeh tha kaamdev ka Aashirwad!
Aaj unke teer Himani, Gayatri aur yaha tak Sumitra ko bhi ghayal ki thi. Sumitra apne zamane me bahut shararati thi. Alok ke baapu ne na jaane kitne baar uski bur ka bhoadi banaye do do fal ugaye.
Umar ke saath saath Sumitra niyam aur reeti, neeti me jud gayi..aur aaj is umar mein voh ek ajeeb roshni dekhne lagi. Kuch ajeeb sursurahat hone lagi uske andar. Himani ki ajeeb si dohre matlab wale jawab pe ab voh bhi usi andaaz me aagayi.
Sumitra (Gehri saas leti hui) : Kis khatmal ki itni majal ke meri beti ko Kaante!!!!
Sumitra apni beti ki sawal se bahut hairan thi. Voh kehti bhi to kya kehti. Uski badan thartharane lagi jaise kisi bijli ke khambe se achanak takrayi ho. Vaise sawal kuch galat bhi nahi thi...akhir reeti neeti me laga hi kya tha??
Lekin voh apne aap ko kamzor kaise pesh karti apni baccho ke saamne!!
Sumitra : (tez lekin kamzor awaz me) HHimmu...dekh yeh kaisaaa sawall hai??? Are bina bandish aur reeti neeti ke insaan jaanwar ke samaan hai....kya itna bhi tu nahin samajhti??? Are....aaj is umar ke padav me yeh kaisi anab shanab sawal kiye jaa rahi hain??
Himani : (Ab maa ke peeche jaake unki kandho par kohni rakhti hui) uffffff maa!!!!! Yeh sanskari vyavahar se bhala aap ko kya mila....zindagi beet gayi aur vohi bapu kee khute ke alava kuch aur bhi ghunta hai aapne??? Nahi..... (Pure besharmi ke saath )
"Chiiii yeh Himu kaisi shabdon ka upyog kar rahi hain"" sochti hui Gayatri ki dil khoob zoron se dhadakne lagi...yeh Himani apni hi maa ke saamne is tarah!! Use aisa lagne laga jaise kisi bhi vakt uski dil seene se bahaar nikalke uski haath me ajaayegi.
Sumitra ki bhi dhadkane tez hone lagi aur mote mote gadrayedar stan upar neeche hone lage. Uski maathe ki pasina uski chashme ki rim tak bheegone lagi. Aaj Himani ne ek purane praachin vriksh pe paani ke kuch chinte girayi thi.
Voh vriksh jo paani ke ehsaas ko bhul chuki thi.....
Aaj us ghar ke hall me khadi hui teeno aurton ka dil zoron se dhadakne lage ek saath. Sumitra gungi si ho gayi thi ekdam se. Usse kuch kaha bhi nahi jaa rahi thi ke tabhi Himani ki ek haath uski ek mote stan ko daba leti hain..
"Ssssssssss Hiiimmuuu!!!!!!" Voh sisak padi! Yeh ajeeb drishya dekhke Gayatri ki neeche ki dwaar phir khulne lagi aur do teen mote mote moti jaise chamakedaar boondein tapak padi.
Himani aur Sumitra ab dono ek dusre ko dekhne lage...
Saasen bilkul tez...
Hont laplapa rahe the....
Himani ne apni maa ke kandhe ko thodi zor se masli aur dono ke chehre kuch kareeb ajate hain ke achanak....
"Maa! Nashta ready hain kya????". Amit ke awaaz se teeno aurton ke bhram ek jhatke me tut jaate hain aur jaise maano kisi ne unke gaalo me tamacha maarke kisi sapne se nikala ho.
Sharam se pani pani hoke Sumitra vaha sofe pe beth jaati hain aur sar pe haath patak ke sochne lagi ke "ohh Bhagwan!!! Yehh aaj kya ho gayaaa tha mujheee???".
Uski aankh bhar ayi aur voh akhbaar uthake padne lagi, saath saath apni nami aankhein bhi chupa li. Gayatri Amit ko nashta banake dene laga aur paas hi beth gayi.
Amit : Kya baat hain maa? Kuch pareshaan si lag rahi ho aaj.
Gayatri ka dil itni zyada khul chuki thi ke uske jee me ayi ke Amit ko uski bua ke baare me sab kuch bata de...par yeh itna aasan bhi to nahi thi " Nahi beta....aisa kuch nahin! ...aur bata office kaise chal raha hai beta?".
Amit kuch kehne hi wala tha ki usne gaur kiya ke Gayatri kuch uncomfortable dhang se bethi hui thi aur maano jaise baar baar apni jangho ke beech khuja rahi thi.
Darasal Gayatri ne kal raat se petticoat nahi badli thi....Bhim aur Himani ke sangam se leke abhi tak jitni bhi ras bahayi thi...voh saare uski jaangho ke ird gird chipak gayi thi. Usse aur raha nahi gayi aur Amit ke office jaate hi voh nahane ko daur gayi.
Himani apni kamre me jaake let gayi aur hall me ki gayi harkaton ko yaad karke sharma bhi gayi aur hasne bhi lagi saath saath. Use badi ajeeb lagi ke aakhir voh apni hi maa ke saath is had tak ayi to kaise ayi.
Voh soch hi rahi thi ke saamne aine me ek dhund aane laga. Himani yeh drishya dekhke chauk jaati hai aur harbarake uth jaati hain biatar pe se. Badi hairat ke saath voh aine me dekhne lagi.
Kuch dedh tak taakne ke baad dhund gayab hone laga aur ek sudol khubsurat si adher umar ki aurat saamne khadi dikhti hain. Yeh intefaq se vohi aurat thi jo Amit ko sapne me mili thi.
Aurat : Balike! Mujhe Gajodhari kehte hain! Aaj mere hi vajah se tum hawas aur leela ki ras mein un dono ko dooba chuki ho. (Apni rasile honton pe muskaan lati hui)
Himani hairani se sirf sunti gayi..
Gajodhari : Dekhko balike....mujhe swayam Kaamdev ne bheja hain ek kamuk parivaar ke talaash me..lekin yeh talash tab khatam hui jab tumhare vansh ke ek matra avtaar mujhe dikh gayi!
Himani (hairani se) : kkkaunn hhaii voh??????
Gajodhari : (tez saason me) is ghar ka ek matr jawan mard AMIT!
Yeh sunke Himani kaamp uthi aur patakk ke bistar par bejaan beth gayi! "Yyehhhh kkyaa kehree rahe haiii aap????".
Gajodhari : Bilkul sach! Aur Kaamdev ke taraf se use chunauti hain ke use apne saare sadasiyio ko sambhog, kamukta aur hawaspan ke samundar me doobana parega......aur agar yeh nahi hua to uske aane wale vansh par aafat bhi aasakta hain!!
Himani ki dil zoron se dhadak uthi! Maano koi ajeeb sa sapna dekh rahi ho!!
Uske zehn me Amit swayam Kaamdev ke vastr pehna hua saamne aane laga aur uske charo aur kiran aur roshni nikal padte hain.
Himani ki aankh tak roshni pahuch gayi jiske vajah se usne jhat se palke band karliya.
Vapas palke jhapak te hi saamne aina normal ho chuka tha aur kamre me koi roahni nahi thi lekin voh thi ke paseene me churchur.
Uski sudol stan blouse se chipak chuki thi aur lanbe lambe saaso ke sahare upar neeche ho rahe the.
Vaha office me Amit apne cabin me maa ke baare me sochne laga...aakhir maa vaisi ajeeb harkat kyon kar rahi thi.....aisa kya hua tha ke voh baar baar neeche ki aur khujaye jaa rahi thi.
Soch ko side karta hua voh apne laptop me kuch gadraye huye aurton ke tazveer dekhne laga aur aankhein senkne laga. Usi vakt aajati hain intercom pe ek awaaz "Sir koi lady ayi hai milne aap se!
Amit ne dekha ke saamne se matakti hui Pooja aa rahi thi. Uski chehre par kuch sawaal the jaise par chaal confident ekdum. Apni salwar suit me kayamat lag rahi thi!
Amit : are Pooja kaise aana hua?
Pooja : bhayiaa!! Us din jo hua....
Amit : Please! Use bhool jao aur...
Pooja ghusse me khadi ho gayi "what do you mean BHOOL JAO????? .....bhayyiaaa mere kok me aapka hi baccha pal raha hain..... I AM PREGNANT damnit!!
Amit ghussa hoke table par kohni mar deta hain "are dheere bol!! Koi sun lega....
Pooja phut phut ke rone lagi ke tabhi Amit uth ke uske baalon ko sehlane laga aur dono ke dono khubsurat palken chum leta hain *pch* *pch*
Is harkat se Pooja apni aam jaise stan Amit ke seene se dhas leti hain aur dono ek dusre ko chumne lagte hai. Kuch minto ke baad Dono sofe pe baith jaate hain aur Pooja nakhun dabaye Amit ke taraf dekhne lagi. "Ab kkyaa hoga bhayia!! Maa aur daadi to mujhe maar hi dalenge!".
Amit kuch kehne hi wala tha ke....
Phir se...
Uske atma me Gajodhari pravesh kar leti hain "hahhahhaaa"......
.....phir se vohi hansi....
...jisse Amit ko khauff ho chuka tha ..Ab Amit ke mann me vapas kamukta ka khumaar chaane laga.
Pooja : ssochtii hhhoon ke giraa doo is bacch...(uske phul jaise honton par Amit ungli daba deta hain).
Amit : Are jaaneman! Uski koi zaroorat nahi.... bacche ko tum sab ke saamne laogi!!!
Yeh sunke Pooja ke pairo tale zameen khisak jaati hain "KYA?????"
.......
Vaha dusri taraf Nalini angrayi lene lagi aur apni huliya dekhke sharna jaati hain. Phir use raat me ayu hui ajeeb sa sapna yaad aane lagi.
Sapna kuch is kadar tha :
Nalini ki god bharai ho rahi thi aur saamne bethe saare aurten bilkul usi ki tarah garbvati the aur saare ke saare nangepan me hi aasan par bethe the. Mahol ajeeb tha kyonke 20 se leke 60 saal ke aurten bade bade pet leke gaana gaa rahe the aur dholak baja rahe the... Vaha main aasan par pure saree pehni hui Nalini sirf neeche dekhke sharma rahi thi...
Tajub yeh thi ke sabhi garbvati aurten use bhi nangan hone ke liye uksane lage lekin Nalini sharam ke maare nazren utha nahi payi aur kass ke apni pet par haath thaame bethi rahi.... ke tabhi aati hain uske saamne ek 20 saal ki nangi ladki kuch 5 mahine ki pet leke, par chehre pe ek odhni thi dhaki hui. Voh saamne khadi ho gayi aur badi pyar se Nalini se "bhabhiii!!! Are khol do na!!!".
.......
Nalini sapne ko yaad kar kar ke apni bur ke daano ko chamat chamat sehlane lagi. Sapna bahut ghinona tha par tha ajeeb! Aur na jaane kyon... us ladki ki awaaz Pooja se bahut milti thi.
Vaha office me Pooja apni bhayia ki nirnay se hairan thi. Pooja ab hairani se uske taraf dekhne lagi aur phir badi kamukta se poochi "hmmm oho..... to phir kya mujhe bhabhi ki sautan banane ka iraada hain aapka..hhmmm??".
Amit uske seene se aur chipak jaata hain aur ek chummi uske gaal pe deta hua "hmmm well.....yeh to socha nahi main...parrr agar tum chahooo tooo
..(hans leta hain)
Pooja (Amit ke chaati par ek mukka maarti hui) : chiiiii!! kitne gande Insaan ho aap!!.
Amit ka paapi mann : are behna! Mera gandagi ab tak dekha hi kahaa hai tune!
Pooja yun to chanchal thi par ab thodi ghabrayi hui dikhne lagi...aur yaha se vaha tahelne lagi..."parrr....bhayiaaa.... ghar pe pata chala to!".
Amit ke chehre pe ek muskaan agaya aur usne Pooja ke kaan me kuch phusphusabe laga..jise sun ke Pooja hairat hoke mooh pe hath rakh leti hain aur jaanghen apas me bhid deti hain vaasna bhare andaaz me.
Pooja (Amit se chipakti hui) uffff bhayiaaa!! Aap itne gande kabse ban gaye! Mujhe kuch kuch hone laga hain aapke plan sunke!
Amit Pooja ki gaand ko sehlate huye cabin ke washroom ke andar le jaata hain aur andar se darwaza lock kar deta hain.
Andar shower ke tez awaaz me bhige bhige badan phir se kamuk hone lage aur phir dono ke beech shuru hui chumbano ka yudh...
Sach to yeh tha doston ke jitni aag office me lagi hui thi...utna hi aag ghar me bhi the. Vaha pe to jaise har ek sadasya apne apne soch me gum the.
Himani kitchen jaake Gayatri ki haath batane lagti hain aur dono me phir se hamesha ki tarah gupahup aur chugli shuru ho jaate hain.
Himani : are didi! .... Aap ne to bataya hi nahi ke program kaisi lagi aapko meri!
Gayatri : (Raat ka Bhim wala ghatna yaad karke) Besharam kahin ki...ek to naukar ke saath ghutar gu karti hain aur badi shareef banke ghumti bhi hai.
Himani : (ek pyari si pose deti hui) : haiiiiii daiyaa ..are main to subah ki baat kar rahi thi! ... yeh Bhim wala kissa aap ko kaise malum didi?? (Natak karti hui)
Gayatri sharma jaati hain aur chup chaap sabzi kantne lagi..uski gati dheemi ho gayi thi aur maathe par bharpoor pasina aane lagi. Aise me Himani uske peeche khadi ho jaati hai aur kandho ko masalne lagi.
Gayatri ki zubaan saaf bhasha ki prayog karne lagi "yehh kyaa laga rakha hai Himu!! Arr aisi raa...(chup ho jaati hain).
Himani : Apni blouse ke andar stan ki daraar ki pasina pallu se pochti hui "hmmm didiii are sankoch mat kijiye! bejhijhak boliye....
Himani ki is harkat ko dekhke Gayatri apni saari ghussa, vaasna. Irsha aur krodh saamne rakh leti hain "are o randi kahin ki!!!!!! Kyun tu mujhe garam karne me tuli hui hain???? Oiiiii tu kya samajhti hain...me tujhse kam hoon??? Are main bhi ek aurat hoon!!! (Aankh me aasoo aane lage aur vohi ke vohi churi aur sabziyan side me patak deti hain)
Himani (taali bajati hui) wowww what a performance! Kya baat hai didi..aakhir aagayi na zameen par..are bhale hi ek retired teacher ho! Par... ho to ek insaan..aur sabae pehle ek aurat!
Gayatri ki andar ek vaasna se krodhit hui ladki jaag gayi thi.
Gayatri : tttuu sach keh rahi hai Himu! Thak gayi hoon!!! (Saara kaam chor deti hain) bilkul thak gayi hoon yeh gharelu seedhi aurat ban ban ke.....(Himani ki haath pakarti hui)...uffff yeh tune thik nahi kiya!! Aise...mere andar ke ladki ko jaga ke thik nahin kiya tune!!!! (Banawati ghusse me)
Himani pallu se mooh dhak ke hans leti hain.
Vaqt badalne ke kagaar pe tha...na jaane kis disha ki aur jaane wala tha.
....
Shaam ko kuch badlav sa aane laga.. chai banane ke liye na to Himani kitchen me gayi aur na hi Gayatri. Shruti apni cell me khoi hui thi ke achanak uski maa ki awaaz ayi "Shruti!! Oi kahan hai tu".
Shruti apni loose trousers aur tshirt me matakti hui maa ke paas jaane lagi. Hall me jaake voh hairani me ruk si gayi thi. Normally shaam ko Himani aur Gayatri sab ke liye chai nashta banate the lekin aaj to dono mahilaye bade aaram se sofe pe sirf nightie pehni hui bade pyar se ek 'Mens' magazine padh rahe they.
Lag to aise raha tha ke maano dono ke dobo magazine ke models ko nihaar rahe they kyonke aankhon me ek khumaar sa chayi huye the.
Shruti nervous hoke maa aur Himani ke paas jaane lagi. Uski komal badan kamp uthi jab Gayatri magazine neeche rakhti hui uski taraf tez bhav se dekhne lagi "aisi khadi mat raha kar aise hi....jaa! jaake dono ke liye chai bana ke la!"
Shruti chauk gayi ekdam se...yeh aaj maa ko kya ho gayi! Aise rudely to aajtak ghar me uske saath kisi ne bhi nahi pesh aayi thi. Aur chai???? Life mein kitchen ke andar taaaj tak pair nahin rakhi thi.
Shruti apni lato ke saath khelne lagi aur nervous feel karne lagi ke tabhi Gayatri chillane lagi "are jaa YAHA se!!! Ab kya ruler se teri pitayi Karooo kya??? "
Yeh sunke Shruti kamp uthi aur phone me YouTube on karke chai banane bhag gayi kitchen ke andar.
Paas me bethi Himani Gayatri ki moti jangh ko nightie ke upar se masal deti hain aur khilkhila uthi.
Gayatri ko na jaane kyon aise power me rehne se mazaa aane lagi. Aisi dominant bartav me bhi voh kuch ajeeb si sukh prapt kar rahi thi. Voh badi narakiya tarike se vapas magazine dekhbe lagi. Page pe John Abraham topless pose me tha.
Shruti ab chai leke kaampti hui haathon me matakti hui dono ke taraf jaane lagi aur table par rakhne hi wali thi ke tabhi....
Gayatri : (Himani ko page dikhati hui) ufffff Himu, Yeh kambakht pehelwan kaha kaha se aate hain bollywood me!
Use matak matak ke bhaagte huye dekh ke dono ke dono khilkhila uthe. Gayatri ab apni aatma ke dark side ko nimantran de rahi thi...use is dominant andaaz se mazaa aaaane lagi.
Himani bhi badi natkhat bhav se muskurayi aur dono ko dekhke kone me khadi Gajodhari muskurane lagi aur birbirane lagi "Jai ho Kaamdev prabhu ki...".aur gayab hoke pahuch jaati hain upar Nalini ke kamre me.
Nalini ek prem kahani ki kitab apni god me liye parh rahi thi, ek sadharan si Prem kahani thi par uske kamuk details ka asar hone laga. Use ehsaas hone lagi ki ek vakt pe voh bhi kahani ki heroine ki tarah pyari aur slim si thi. Par is garvabati avastha se uski tabyat jyada nahin par thodi gadrayi gayi thi.
Is baat ko ignore karti hui voh vapas kitab me mann lagane lagi aur vaha sheeshe me chupi hui Gajodhari kuch soch ne lagi aur kuch hi pal me voh apne aap hi muskura uthi aur uski aankhen tez ho gayi jiske karan uski maathe me se roshni jhalak ke seedha Nalini ki maathe ko chune lagi.
Nalini ki ankh band ho jaati hain aur kitab haath se gir padti hain. Uski saasen tez ho jaati hain aur Amit ka naam leti hui vapas hastmuthan me lag jaati hai. Dheere dheere uski petticoat ras se reesne lagi aur jahaa ek haath sirf ungli kar rahi thi to dusra haath saree ko upar ke aur apne aap laane lagi.
Aise kuch hi palo me voh thak ke so gayi. Sheeshe me chipi Gajodhari muskurake vaha se gayab ho jaati hain.
Himani ka itna kehni thi aur voh apni cell pe kuch Femdom wali pics Gayatri ko dikhati hain. Pics me videshi ladkiyan dominant andaaz me pose diye huye the aur kuch kuch mein to aisi lagi ke maano mardo aur kam umar ke ladkiyo pe bhi zor asma rahe the.
Aurton ke aise bhi roop hote hain yeh Gayatri ke samajh aur vivek se pare the. Tasveer pe tasveer dekh ke voh chauk jaati hain aur mooh se nikal padti hain "hayy ram!!.
Himani : kyon didi! ....are hum to yunhi saari zindagi sati savitri bane ghumte rahe aur yeh dekho in firangi ladkiyan..aur aurten mein kya kya progress aagaye hain...aur haan vaise aaj Shruti ke saath jo aapne harkat ki!...sach kahoo (Gayatri ki gaal pr chikoti maarke) mujhe kafi mazaa aya!
Gayatri (nakli dhong me) hmmmmmmm mazaa to mujhe bhi (apni ek lut ko ungli me phasake) ayaa.... Par kya....(honton ko apas me ragadti hui) is umar me hume yeh sab shobha deti hain Himu??
Himani : Are diddiiii.... Main aapse thodi to pari likhi hoon! Aise chizon ko Fetishism kehte hain aur (kandha phir dabake) ... sach kahoon didiiiii.. umar jitni badti hain aurton ki..utni khujli bhi hoti hain...are aap daadi ban gayi to kya hua? ....are bur ki aag ka umar se kya vasta?
Himani ki boldness dekhke Gayatri dang reh gayi. Aaj kaafi dino baad voh dono bade casually aur aaram se apne apne mann ke kone ke zehrile vichaar share kar rahe the.
Gayatri : (Lambi saas leke) mujhe malum hai... mujhe ab bahu ki bacche ke saath khelni ki sochni chahiye....(phir se honton ko dabayi) parrr.. Himu! Yeh tu mujhe kya kya dikha rahi hai!! Hey raam hey Gopala!!! .....(thodi gehri saas leti hui) main aaj se thodi aur khul ke jiyungi!
Yeh sun ke Gayatri khilkhila uthi aur Himani ko ek halka chapat maari gaal pe "chiiii badmaash kahin ki....kamini.....uff."
"Tujhe aaj se aisa koi bhi link mile, to mujhe aur dikhana samjhi?" kehke Gayatri nightie me phasi apni chaudi si gaand matak matak ke vapas apne apne kamre ki aur chal dete hain. Peeche peeche Himu muskurake chal leti hain.
Raat ko Pooja Amit ke saath hi ghar vapis aajati hain aur dono apne apne kamre ki aur chale jaate hain.
........
Aise hi kuch aur din beet jaate hain aur din bar din Gayatri saree, nightie aur kabhi kabhi salwar suit bhi bade casually pehnne lagi. Nalini ke saath aise baat karne lagi jaise koi saheli ho.
Ek din to Nalini magazine parh rahi thi ke tabhi kamre me Himani aajati hain ek bahut hi sasti saree pehn ke. Voh saree itni purani aur cheap thi ke use dekh Nalini hairan rehti hain.
Nalini : are Buaji! Yeh kya ....aap ke to acha khasa collection hai na? To phirrrrr... Yeh sab
Himani (nakhre karti hui) are bahu!!! Yeh to Bhim ka diya hua hai! (Ankh maar ke)
Nalini ki haath ae magazine phisal gayi aur hairani ke saath bua ko dekhne lagi "Kya???? Kya keh rahi ho aap?"
Himani : (natkhat andaaz) aree bahuu!!!! Aisi kyon react kar rahi hai....are ek to tu jaanti hain na ke uski biwi ke maike jaane ke baad ae bechara ek dum randwa ki zindagi bita raha hain! (Natak jaari rakhi) ...aakhir uski jism ki aakaar mujhse jo miltii haiii.
Yeh sun ke Nalini ki dil pet me gir gayi. Ek to voh 7 mahine ki garb thi aur upar se bua ke baaton se voh uttejit bhi ho rahi thi.
Himani : (uth ke ek pose me) khair tu aaram kar..vaise bhi 2 mahine ke andar ek chota sa mehmaan aa raha hai ghar me....tu aaram kar (jhuk ke maathe ko chumke chali jaati hain)
Nalini ko apni ghar me itna badlav pehle kabhi nahi dekhi. Bua ki baatein uski komal mann ki naso pe hamla ki thi. Voh aankh band kar li aur khayalon me Heer Ranjha ke poshaak me Himani aur Bhim dekhne lagi....
...phir kya...
Haath apne aap phule huye pet ke neeche muniya par ragadti gayi....
Uh mmnnnnnnnmm
ragadti gayi ...
Kuch minto baad use neend aa gayi.
Par sason me ek ajeeb naya sa khumaar chaane lagi thi. Voh so to rahi thi lekin chaati upar neeche ho rahe the.
Lagta hai ab kaamdev ke kripa ab Nalini pe chaane vali thi.
Us raat Himani aur Gayatri acchi neend soyi aur dusre taraf Shruti maa ke duara ki gayi harkat se bahut dang thi, par ignore karke re me bethi Sumitra Devi apni jism ki massage karwa rahi thi Chameli se.
Yaha main aap sabhi pathako ko bata doo ke Chameli ek 40 saal ki gadrayi hui sawle rangat ki ek ganv ki aurat hain jo unke ghar se kuch hi door base ek basti me rehti thi.
Chameli kuch mahine do mahine me aake Sumitra ki massage kara leti thi kyonke usse unka circulation behtaar ho jaati thi. Har dusre mahine ke tarah is mahine me Chameli bethi thi Sumitra Devi ki pairo ke beech aur apni tagdi haathon me thi sande ka tel.
Sumitra har session ki tarah is baar bhi sirf blouse aur petticoat me leti thi....aur Petticoat sirf ghutno tak chadi hui thi. Jee Haan! Ek aisa drishya jo sirf Chameli ko nasseb hoti thi jo aaj bhi apni malkin ki jism ki gadrayi hui ango ko dekhke hairan rehti thi.
Chameli : (katori me se thodi tel leke haath malti hui) Are maaji! Badi khoyi khoyi lag rahi ho aaj! Are kaa baat hai...humka kah sakt ho!
Sumitra kuch dino pehle Himani se ki gayi harkat ko aaj tak nahi bhul payi thi....par tajub yeh tha ke uske kaahe gaye katu baatein aur onchi harkat unhe sochne pe majboor kar diya tha.
Sumitra : (lambi saas leti hui) hmmmmmmm nahin Chameli! Aisa kuch nahin re!
Chameli (talwo par tel malti hui) Are humse kaa chupath ho!..are tumri sehat ka dhyan rakhat hai...to tumri mann ka nahi bhaamp sakat hai ka?
Sumitra : (talwo se aaram leti hui) aree ab kya kahoo tujhse! Mujhe to aaj kal kuch thik hi nahi lag rahi hai!
Champa (ab dheere dheere talwo ke upar jaati hui) : Hmmmmm ab hamka samajh agavi baat! Aree tumri jeevan me babuji ki kami avat gavi! Haii na! (Pairo pe kass ke zor lagati)
Yeh sun ke Sumitra ki badan sisak uthi aur upar se Chameli ki kathor haathon ka zor usko zindagi me pehli baar uksane lagi.
Chameli : (zoron se maalish me vyast) uffff maaji! Yeh tumri jaanghe aur tangein ufff..
Sumitra (massage ke vajah se aankhen aadhe band) oye! Kya kehna chahti hai tu??
Chameli : (aur tel lagati hui) Are ee tumri taang kitni chaudi hain aur is umar me bhi mazboot!..aur uffff ye tumri mansal moti moti jaanghe...haiii dayiaa... agar Ram khilavat tumka ek najar daikh le
...(thodi hans ke) to..tumri khair nahi!
Sumitra aisi baaton se sihir uthi aur kaampte huye honton se puch li "kyaa anaab shanaab bak rahi haii tu! aurr..yeh Ram Khilavat kaun hai???
Chameli : Are! (Hansti hui) hehhee..are vo to humri ganv ki mashhoor pehlwaan hai maaji!! (Aur kasss ke massage karti hui) are kaa hai na ki..u mue ka tunri jaisan tagdi aur mansal aurten pasand hai!! (Apni bold vyavahar se aaj voh thodi sharma jaati hain)
Chameli ki har ek baat Sumitra ki bechaini ko aur hawa de rahi thi aur aise me uski chaudi chaati aur upar neeche ho rahe the.
Ab itne me Chameli jaangho ki maalish shuru kar leti hain aur kass kass ke maas me ungliyaa daba leti hain. Is harkat se Sumitra sisak uthi aur aaj bahut saalo baad voh harkat ki jo usse umeed nahi thi.
Apni phool jaise rasile honton par daant ko thopne lagi. Yeh harkat dekh leti hai Chameli jo hans padti hain "haiii dayiaaa..maaji.. yeh kamseen chori jaisan kahe machal rahe ho! Are kahin u pehlwaan ki khaatir machal rahat ho ka? Hehhee!
Sumitra : Chameli! Ek baat bata! kya kamukta ka koi umar hoti hai kya??
Chameli bahut kamini aurat thi. Aaj malkin ke aise khulne se voh bhi khul gayi.
Chameli : (Aur zoron se jaangho ko masalti hui) Maaji...haiii yeh aaj tumka ka hoil gava? ...aaj sardi ma paseena kahe aane lagi tumka?? Hmmmmmmm kuch baat to jaroor hai... are humka batayi dyo!
Sumitra : (tez saasen leti hui) uhmmmm are nahi nahi...aisi kya baat ho sakti hain!...(jhijhak rahi thi) nahi....... kuch bhi to nahin! TT..tu kaam kar chup chaap!
Chameli : Areeeee malkinn mori! (Ab petticoat ko jaangho ke upri hisse tak leke ayi ek jhatke me) Areeeee...aisan taang aur jaangh nangan leke ghumogi to haiii dayiaa... Na baba na humse bola nahi jaat!! (Sharmati Hui)
Sumitra ko uski aisi harkatein ab satanek lagi aur is baar daant ke bol padi"dekh! Main is ghar ki malkin hoon! Teri maa saman aur bahut jald ek bacche ki pardaadi bbi ban jaoongi!! Mujhse kuch mat chupa! Tujhse zyada duniya maine dekhi hain..samjhi!!!
Chameli (nakhre karke) mmmmnm are maaji!! Abe hum seedha seedha tumka batayi detan hai! Aree....aisan gadraye shareer humre ganv ke pahalvano ko dikh jail to tumka aisan khaa jail!! (Pallu se mooh chupa ke hans leti hain)
Sumitra ki mann me bulb pe bulb jaise phut pade aur jism me ek current si daur gayi ho. Aaj jaise bahut saalo baad kisi ne uske sukhe adarasho wali jism ko ashleelta aur vaasna ke sagar me jhat se dhakel ke dubo diya ho.
Kya jism uski itni sukh gayi thi ke aaj is dariya me gir ke geeli hoke use acchi lagne lagi?.... Yeh jawab to vaqt hi dega.
Kuch palo ke baad massage khatam karti hui Chameli kamar kas ke uth jaati hain to jaate jaate Sumitra use dekh ke apni saree vapas jism me lapet ke dheeme se kehti hain "Chameli sun to! soch rahi hoo ke munne ke paida hone ki khushi me kyon na teri ganv ghum aoo!...ek ganv ka mahol dekhe huye arsa ho gaya hai ree! "
Chameli ek pyari si muskaan de rahi thi "aree Maaji! Kahe nahin.. jaroor aao!..are par bahu ka don mahina aur haii...hmmm are kono baat nahi! ..don mahinan baad aavo!" Kehke matakti hui nikal jaati hain.
Vaha biatar par aaram se leti hui Sumitra ke aankhon me kuch dhundle yaadein taza honi lagi. Bahut saal pehle.... jab vo jawani ke kagaar par thi, tab unki naani ne Mahabharat ki path padayi thi to usi pal voh Bhim ke kirdar ki taraf akarshit ho gayi thi.
Aaj itne saalo baad uski jism me jawani vala chingari na jaane kisne chori thi ke aankhein mund karke voh Ram Khilavat ka ek chitr banane lagi.....
......
Kya uski chaati chaudi hoga....
Kya voh langot pehn ta hoga....
Kya apne takat se ek haathi ko bhi patakta hoga!
Kyaa kehne par voh meri mote mote taango ko bhi...
Dil ki dhadkan ek zor ki hunkare maarti hain aur voh "hay ramm maaf karna ia budhiya Ko..." birbirake so jaati hain. Vo so to jaati hain par vaha paas me table par rakhe gramaphone ke peeche se chipi chipi khadi Gajodhari ek shaitani hansi hans deti hain.
"Jai ho Kaamdev prabhu ka! aapke teer me sachmuch koi awaaz nahi hota....bas! nishana ahiste lag hi jaata hain hehe".
